You didn’t even know you were imagining it. But the moment you saw this poster for the latest Wes Anderson joint part of your mind said “Yeah, this is exactly what I’ve been expecting ever since I heard he was making another movie.” It’s perfect. Even though you have no idea what the movie’s about, you know this poster perfectly encapsulates it. Cause somehow that’s how it works.
Why? When have you ever thought “This airplane game is nice, but it would be so much better if I could spend the whole time starring at my pilot?” Sure, your airplane is being shot to shreds around you, but that’s alright, because Wow, can you believe how nice these faces look? It’s almost like they suddenly realized that an airplane game on the PS4 looks pretty much like an airplane game on PS3, and jammed some unnecessary “improvements” in there at the last minute, just to sell the next gen-iness. “We can render faces so well! Please ignore the fact that that’s pretty much a pointless feature in this game.”
Yeah. That’s definitely a thing. Things are happening here. Enjoy, I guess?
Not to be confused with the Hercules starring Dwayne Johnson, this is the Hercules starring Twilight’s Kellan Lutz. And what it loses in not starring The Rock, it makes up for in occasionally acknowledging that he’s the son of a god.
Occasionally. They’re not going overboard with this. Sure, the whole selling point of Hercules is that he’s the son of Zeus, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to be make a big deal about it. Mostly it’s just Spartacus with a bit of 300 and a lot of Troy jammed in there. Herc’s in love with a princess, but she’s gonna marry another dude, so Hercules is sold as a slave (because, as part god, why would he fight back?) and then he has to gather an army (because, again, as part god, he really needs an army) to take back his princess. Then, oh yeah, he’s part god, so he gets some super powers. But mostly it’s just slow motion 300 fighting. Cause that’s something we needed more of.
It’s a friends list. It will collect all your friends’ GamerTags into one place where you can see what they’re doing. Super exciting. The only new info is that you can follow people who might not be in following you. Hooray. Definitely worth all the excitement that Major Nelson is exuding for this.
Because, duh, Kingdom Hearts HD 2.5 ReMIX is happening, collecting another bunch of Kingdom Hearts games into one place for your convenience. Unfortunately, they’ve made some odd decisions about what games are included.
Kingdom Hearts 2, obviously. It’s called Kingdom Hearts 2.5, they can’t skip the 2. And it’s obviously the most important. No one wants to play a game with 3 on the end without first playing number 2. Then, Kingdom Hearts: Birth By Sleep. Also great. The PSP is kinda terrible for long time gaming, and Squeenix for Adobe reason didn’t make the game available digitally, so you couldn’t play the game on PSVita. Finally it’s available on a system that won’t give you a headache trying to play. But then, the final bit it’s the video portions of Kingdom Hearts: Re:coded? Okay, what? Re:coded is kind of terrible, and doesn’t really matter, because it almost all takes place in a computer simulation (but not, like, a computer simulation you care about, like Tron). But Dream Drop Distance is important. It says stuff. It builds up to the third game. And while I can appreciate the difficulty in adapting it for a system that isn’t a DS, the fact that they’re okay with just giving us the video sequences to two other games in the series leaves an obvious solution to this issue. Guess they’re just still hoping to sell that game. Better pick up a 3DS if you want to be completely prepared for Kingdom Hearts 3. Sorry.
It’s an awkward situation. Basically no animated Joker is going to be “The Joker” unless he’s voiced by Mark Hamill. Doesn’t matter how awesome the performance is, it’s always going to be “Not Mark Hamill.” Those are some difficult shoes to fill. Then, you have to add in the fact that this is the third game in a series that already had Mark Hamill voice the character twice.
So, the solution when casting Troy Baker in the role? Screw it, just do the exact same voice. Like, dead on, don’t change an thing. Just do an impersonation of Mark Hamill voicing The Joker. Avoid the temptation to add your own spin to the character, just give us the same voice we’ve had for the last two decades. So that’s what we’re getting. Here he is performing a monologue from The Killing Joke in the totally just Mark Hamill voice, which I’m sure is super exciting for folks that don’t kind of hate The Killing Joke.
Our weekend box office results, from Box Office Mojo
1. Gravity – $44,265,000
Still coming in number one, even after Neil Degrasse Tyson explained that it wasn’t very scientifically accurate. Jerk.
2. Captain Phillips – $26,000,000
Representing a natural distrust for any pirate that isn’t a lovable rogue. I just wanna see them singing songs, and fighting supernatural monsters.
3. Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 – $14,200,000
Something about puns? I dunno, this is still happening.
4. Machete Kills – $3,797,000
You really thought this deserved to make it into the top five? Enough people said “Yeah, we should go see Machete Kills” to make that happen? Sad.
5. Runner Runner – $3,725,000
Only upon release did someone point out that the only people who care about online poker are probably sitting at home and playing online poker, instead of watching movies.
It’s something you kind of had to expect. After all, most of the Star Wars: Rebels team is composed of Star Wars: The Clone Wars people. But still, there was that little glimmer of hope. A new show, a new executive producer, maybe there would be a new art style? But this video from the New York Comic-Con, premiering the first character design from the new show, pretty much says no. He’s called The Sith Inquisitor, and he looks exactly like every bad guy on The Clone Wars. Literally an entire galaxy of characters to choose from, and they said “We need another super white bald human-y type.” Why? Couldn’t it be anything else? A Sith Ortolan? Who doesn’t want to see that? A Sith… The Floaty Head guys from the Clone Planet? That would be fun, and they’d still be bald, which seems to be a deal breaker for some reason. Or a Sith Wookie? Lucas isn’t around anymore, we can break that stupid “No Wookie’s with Jedi Powers” rule. An evil wookie with access to the force? Who the hell doesn’t want to see that? But really, anything that isn’t just a male version of the bad guy from the last series would be nice.
And again with the crappy 3D. Really hoped when Greg Weisman was announced as Executive Producer they might fix that. But no. At some point we tricked the audience into believing that just because something was in CGI it was better, even if that CGI looks terrible. So that’s happening now. All the time. I just want some 2D animation. I don’t even care if humans do it. Computers can make that happen, now. Just, you know, do that. A Star Wars show, but animated in the same style as Spectacular Spider-Man or Young Justice? I would do such terrible things to make that a reality. Where’s that show?