Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter Red Band Trailer – More Decapitations Doesn’t Make This Less Stupid

I should give this movie more leeway.  Timur Bekmambetov took Wanted, which was a really shitty comic, and turned it into a fun, if somewhat goofy, action movie.  Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is a really shitty comic, so what’s stopping him from doing the same with this movie?  I dunno.  But it’s clearly stopping him, because this is terrible.  It’s a red-band trailer, so the decapitations and amputations and flying blood is much more plentiful, but it just can’t draw attention away from the fact that it’s a movie where Abraham Lincoln fights vampires, and people say shit like “Only the living can kill the dead” and “There’s a war coming”.  Ouch. 

On the positive side, a train tries to drive over a bridge on fire, and then the bridge breaks, and the train falls in the canyon.  That’s cool.  I enjoy watching that happen.  Unfortunately, that’s the only thing I enjoy over this entire trailer.  Oops.