I should give this movie more leeway. Timur Bekmambetov took Wanted, which was a really shitty comic, and turned it into a fun, if somewhat goofy, action movie. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is a really shitty comic, so what’s stopping him from doing the same with this movie? I dunno. But it’s clearly stopping him, because this is terrible. It’s a red-band trailer, so the decapitations and amputations and flying blood is much more plentiful, but it just can’t draw attention away from the fact that it’s a movie where Abraham Lincoln fights vampires, and people say shit like “Only the living can kill the dead” and “There’s a war coming”. Ouch.
On the positive side, a train tries to drive over a bridge on fire, and then the bridge breaks, and the train falls in the canyon. That’s cool. I enjoy watching that happen. Unfortunately, that’s the only thing I enjoy over this entire trailer. Oops.