Alright, DC, That’s It. No More Comics for You

We’ve given you a year, hoping you would clean up your act. But you’ve just gotten worse and worse. Now, on your one year anniversary of your stupid reboot, you’re releasing “Issue Zero” comics? To tell the origin stories we don’t care about? Why? I mean, first of all, I don’t care why Batman became Batman. His parents were murdered. That’s fine, whatever. Superman came to Earth because his planet exploded. Great. We don’t need to tell these stories again. But, whatever. Say you desperately need to tell these stories again. Couldn’t it be a flashback? Issue Thirteen (or whatever) the issue where we we finally learn Superman’s backstory. But you don’t really care about telling the backstory. If you did, you would have done it right away, since the “reboot” was ostensibly the way to collect new readers. You knew that even new readers would be able to understand why Batman existed without all the exposition. The only reason it’s Issue Zero now is that you hope all the noise about your crazy bullshit will up your sales again. I don’t think it’s going to work.

But even all of that isn’t the real issue. The real issue is this:

Look at that. That’s just wrong. It’s like MC Escher tried drawing the human form. Rob Liefeld just looked at that and thought, “That doesn’t seem natural”. The Batman porno sexualized the character less than this cover. It’s just terrible.

Anyway, point is, until you can get over whatever bullshit this is, we’re gonna have to ask you to stop making comics, DC. And we didn’t make this request of Marvel after that whole “One More Day” bullshit. So, that’s where you’re at. Worse than that. Just make everything go back to normal, and create your own alternate universe, like Marvel did with the Ultimate series. That was a much better plan, why couldn’t you have copied that plan? Stupid DC.