No, I’m not implying that The Avengers is some sort of mutant scorpion. Why would you even think that? That’s stupid. Stupid. I mean the other sort of stinger. The post credits video thing.
See, tonight, you’re going to be sitting in the theater, attempting to mop up whatever bodily fluids you’ve expelled from the awesomeness of the movie (I assume) and as the credits start to roll half the audience will start to get up to leave. But you know better. “Idiots,” you’ll think, “You know there’s gonna be a stinger. And tomorrow you’re gonna feel stupid for missing it.” But halfway through the credits you’ll see another clip. And you’ll figure that’s it. “This Cherry Coke is riding pretty hard on my bladder, and I don’t really give a shit who the Best Boy is” (by the way, that’s not nice. That best boy worked hard on this movie, the least you can do is read his name). So you’ll figure it’s time to get up and leave. But don’t do it! There’s even more stinger coming. As an apology to Americans who have had to listen to dirty foreigners extol the virtues of this movie for, like, a goddamn month before we could see it, the American prints are getting an extra bit at the end if the credits. So stick around. Maybe think ahead and get the small Cherry Coke. Or just don’t get a soda at all.