Stand Up Guys
Old gangsters have fun together before the eventual murdering starts. Why precisely you would wait until a guy got out of jail to murder him, I’m not sure. For that matter, I’m not sure why you would murder a guy at all, since he clearly went to jail rather than rat on you? I’m sure it makes sense in context.
Star Wars: Clone Wars is ending. And we need a new show to replace it, because a world without creepy CG versions of Star Wars characters is a world we just don’t want to live in, I guess. So, Star Wars: Rebels. Basically Clone Wars, but set in the period between Revenge of the Sith and A New Hope. Hopefully that means less goofy robots and more badass Stormtroopers, but time will tell on that one. I’d like to be excited, but I’ve seen too many episodes of Clone Wars to be anything but mildly interested. And even that mild interest is based mostly in the addition of Greg Weisman as an executive producer. Maybe he’ll be able to tell a story in the Star Wars universe that doesn’t bore me to tears. Hopefully.
Meanwhile, Star Wars Detours seems to be completely dead. Sad. I mean, I’m sure I’m the only person who’s sad, but still, sad.
Sure, the Zombieland TV pilot was not the same as the movie. We can all agree on that. Sure, the writing might have been similar, but based solely on the trailer, the whole thing felt hokey and unpolished for a long running stint anywhere, let alone on Amazon. So it wasn’t picked up. Many people are thankful. Well, the creator of Zombieland had this to say about the cancellation:
I’ll never understand the vehement hate the pilot received from die-hard Zombieland fans. You guys successfully hated it out of existence.
Hey, guess it finally worked. You did it, internet. You finally got them to not do something because you thought it was dumb. Imagine if we all worked together, we could really change the world, like finally ending vlogging. Ugh. I don’t care about your life.
I’m not sure what Fred Tatasciore is talking about when he says that the new Hulk cartoon is going to be like a reality show. Is he being serious? Did the producer tell him to say that? Sounds fishy and totally not something I would want to watch. Why would all the Hulks be living together like that. Even Ultimate Spider-Man’s premise is flimsy for all those heroes to live in the same house. This one’s going to be even flimsier. It better be a military base and better not be 4th wall references.
Following Tobias Fünke’s request to “Insert Me Anywhere” Capcom has gone ahead and inserted him in a number of awkward places. He’s been inserted in places that some folks might find downright painful. He’s been inserted- Actually, you know what? You get it. It’s an anal sex joke. Moving on.
Everything about this just seems off. I mean, I don’t mind a few little changes to an adaptation if it helps the story move along. I don’t even mind major changes to an adaptation if it makes the movie better. Hell, I know it makes me pretty much a heretic, but Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince is one of my favorite Harry Potter movies, and that movie kind of knows what the plot of the book is, and not a lot else. So I’m willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. But what’s going on here? These changes serve no purpose. How is Phil Bushey being an angry radio DJ going to help? That’s just a needless complication. Does he still cook meth? That’s all he really needs to do. Why can we see the damn dome? I realize that it’s TV, and it’s a visual medium, but the point is that the dome was invisible. Just a hazy force field is far less terrifying. And why do people keep running into it when you can see it? And why is Duke Perkins in so many scenes in this trailer? I mean, spoiler alert if you haven’t read the books, but he kind of leaves us fairly early on. And that’s kind of important. He can’t be around, or else everything falling apart makes less sense.
Maybe this all works. Maybe in context all these changes will work together, and it will tell a story just as good as the story that they’re not telling from the book. And if so, great, I’ll be happy. I hope that’s what happens. I’d love to be wrong about all of this.
Jimmy Kimmel does a good job of getting his guests involved in bits. Couple of weeks ago, Harrison Ford took questions from the audience to hilarious results. Now we have JJ Abrams, who will be directing the new Star Wars, and there’s some nice surprise celebrity cameos in there as well. Surprise!
I think we’ve all been working under the assumption that the Luke Cage looking guy in the Agents of SHIELD trailers was Luke Cage, because of, well, the aforementioned visual similarity. But apparently it’s not so In almost exactly the the wording I used to mock the idea that it wasn’t Luke Cage, Agents of SHIELD executive producer Jeffrey Bell explains that, no, he’s just a really strong guy that we happened to cast with J August Richards, because he was Gunn, and he’s awesome. I could be paraphrasing, but that’s what he meant.
Still, I don’t believe it. First of all, he looks just like Luke Cage. Forget about race. If you digitally made J August Richards look white, and then compared him to a picture of Luke Cage, you’d still think “That’s like a white version of Luke Cage!” Second, say he isn’t Luke Cage. That means he’s one of the other super strong Marvel heroes that hasn’t been physically altered in some way and doesn’t wear a costume. Which… How many of those can you think of? Go on, I’ll wait. Just Luke Cage? Yeah. Well, alright, the costume might be an unnecessary restriction. Maybe he just hasn’t invented it yet. Just list the characters that got super strength without noticeable physical alteration, and that Marvel owns the rights to? Hmm. I’m still stuck on Luke Cage. Well, Luke Cage and Captain America. But Cap is kind of already taken.
I’m sticking with my Luke Cage theory, attempts to dissuade me be damned.
It’s still several months until “Tuesdays This Fall” guys. Maybe you want to slow down just a bit on these Agents of SHIELD trailers? Otherwise you’re gonna find yourself in August with nothing to sell the show with but that video of Luke Cage jumping out the window for the millionth time. That’d be silly.
Meanwhile, I dunno about Luke Cage. I mean, I’m sure that’s Luke Cage, but it feels more like he might be the mystery of the week. They’ll investigate him, discover his secret, and then even though the powers that be want him captured, our heroes will find a way to let him free, because even though they’re working for the shady government group, they still have morals and they know he’s a good guy. And that will be the end of it.
But I really hope he comes back. Maybe they’ll treat him like they did when he was Gunn, where he’s a quasi member of the team for a while, working toward common goals, but not actually part of the group? I just want him in more episodes. Because both J August Richards and Luke Cage are awesome, so why wouldn’t I want more of them, especially when combined into one person?