Yeah. That’s definitely a thing. Things are happening here. Enjoy, I guess?
Archive for TV
It’s something you kind of had to expect. After all, most of the Star Wars: Rebels team is composed of Star Wars: The Clone Wars people. But still, there was that little glimmer of hope. A new show, a new executive producer, maybe there would be a new art style? But this video from the New York Comic-Con, premiering the first character design from the new show, pretty much says no. He’s called The Sith Inquisitor, and he looks exactly like every bad guy on The Clone Wars. Literally an entire galaxy of characters to choose from, and they said “We need another super white bald human-y type.” Why? Couldn’t it be anything else? A Sith Ortolan? Who doesn’t want to see that? A Sith… The Floaty Head guys from the Clone Planet? That would be fun, and they’d still be bald, which seems to be a deal breaker for some reason. Or a Sith Wookie? Lucas isn’t around anymore, we can break that stupid “No Wookie’s with Jedi Powers” rule. An evil wookie with access to the force? Who the hell doesn’t want to see that? But really, anything that isn’t just a male version of the bad guy from the last series would be nice.
And again with the crappy 3D. Really hoped when Greg Weisman was announced as Executive Producer they might fix that. But no. At some point we tricked the audience into believing that just because something was in CGI it was better, even if that CGI looks terrible. So that’s happening now. All the time. I just want some 2D animation. I don’t even care if humans do it. Computers can make that happen, now. Just, you know, do that. A Star Wars show, but animated in the same style as Spectacular Spider-Man or Young Justice? I would do such terrible things to make that a reality. Where’s that show?
I don’t know how someone came up with this. In no amount of time would I have combined King of the Hill with Pokemon and then come up with this. Some impeccable impersonations as well. I think they are impersonations. There’s some weird stuff if to grab from show audio. Either way is a lot of work.
Much Ado About Nothing
Joss Whedon finally makes up for his worst sin by letting Fred and Wesley find happiness together, with only a minimum of attempted homicide along the way. Also, Shakespeare, I guess.
The world finally says enough is enough with this Jaden Smith nonsense.
Space Samurai/Alien Bureaucrat Sharlto Copely goes to a moon of Jupiter and then… space stuff happens?
The Hangover: Part III
Cause the world really needed another one of these.
Curse of Chucky
Speaking of things that the world needs more of, Chucky’s back! In a sequel/remake/reboot thing that I’m sure just tons of people are just champing at the bit for.
Bones – Season Eight
Continuing to happen despite Bones and… uh… whoever Angel played getting together forever ago. Who still cares?!
American Horror Story: Asylum
Despite the remarkably similar cast from the first season, it has pretty much nothing to do with that first season. Just random “Scary” events happening at a place.
White Dollar: Season Four
Somehow missed this entire season. Whoops. Guess it’ll probably be on Netflix soon.
A remarkably unique premise wasted on “Some murdery folks try to get in your house and murder you.”
Psych: The Complete Seventh Season
Again, nothing. Did my Tivo forget about USA?
Star Wars Trilogy Episodes IV-VI
It’s been two years, about time for another Star Wars release. Couldn’t tell you what makes this one any different than the last one, unless it’s just a Disney release. But, no, pretty sure that Fox keeps home video release rights for a while longer. So… no idea.
Batman: The Dark Knight Returns
The complete Dark Knight movie, coming in at a whopping… two and a half hours? That’s it? Why’d they have to split it in half? Jerks. Whatever, it’s crap anyway.
Ugh. Listen, I know it’s a “Teaser” and you shouldn’t expect a whole actual trailer. But they’ve been talking about the thing since last week. I was expecting a bit more than the title with a terrible Disney XD narration over it. It’s just a commercial. If you were unaware of the existence of Star Wars: Rebels, you are now aware of the existence of Star Wars: Rebels. Well done, that audience is now better informed. The rest of us? The ones that already knew about Star Wars: Rebels? The ones that you know knew about Star Wars: Rebels, because you took the time to tell us about this teaser for Star Wars: Rebels? We didn’t need the teaser. We already knew.
Let us know when you’ve got some Greg Weisman-y character models in Star Wars clothing. Then maybe we’ll be interested.
Oh, and all you morons still bitching about how Star Wars is being aimed at kids? It’s fucking Star Wars! Who do you think it’s gonna be aimed at? It’s always been for kids! But look at it this way: everything else Greg Weisman’s made has been for kids, and all that turned out pretty well. Just hope he keeps doing that.
There wasn’t a whole lot of Freaks & Geeks for you to watch. Maybe that can be fixed with this choose your own adventure version where there’s clearly one wrong answer in each choice. But it’s still fun reliving a parodied version of the show that didn’t get a chance. And everyone looks weird.
I have tried to watch Ninjago several times. I find it grating and nearly unbearable. It’s mostly the speaking. Luckily, someone has taken that out and just had two lego ninja fight each other. That’s much better.
Guillermo del Toro’s Treehouse of Horror Intro Is Guaranteed to Be Better Than Anything That Follows It
We’re all pretty much over The Simpsons, and mostly for good reasons, like the fact that they’re pulling this “Who’s gonna die this season?” bullshit. It was stupid over a decade ago, the rapid decline of the show since then doesn’t make it any less stupid. It’s just seems less stupid in comparison to all the other bullshit they’ve been pulling.
But still, this opening for this year’s Treehouse of Horror, from Guillermo del Toro, is good enough that you can just forget about the last decade and a half of The Simpsons for a few minutes. It’s the classic Simpsons opening, except redone to jam just all the horror movie references ever in there, and it’s delightful. It may lean a little heavy on the del Toro, with Hellboy and Pan’s Labyrinth and Blade being pretty heavily represented, but, you know, it’s alright, because those movies are the shit.
So many people wish this could be a real thing. I don’t, it would make it kind of weird. I haven’t watched the show yet so I’m also trying to figure out the whole symbolism here and why Walt isn’t Batman. Don’t explain it, I like it is as it is: mysterious.