Goddamn It, Stop Adapting Books Without Plots

Did you go see He’s Just Not That Into You or What to Expect When You’re Expecting? If the answer’s yes, then you’re an asshole. Why would you go see a movie based on a book without a plot? They’re just random self help tips. Someone said “Hey, this book sells a lot” and they bought the rights to it, so they could slap that name on their awful movie. It’s not okay. And you went to go see it anyway.

So it’s your fault we’re getting a Guinness Book of World Records movie. They said “Wow, that book sells like hotcakes every year. And I know it has no story, but I don’t have to worry about that. They went to the pregnancy guide movie, they’ll go see a movie about this nonsense too. We’ll just jam the World’s Fattest Twins and that fingernail person in one of our crappy meaningless ‘comedies’ and we’ll make a gajillion dollars, even though nothing about that is in anyway appealing.”. Then they arched their fingers, said “Excellent” and dove into a pool of money like Scrooge McDuck. That’s your money they’re swimming in. Because you’re an idiot.

From Comingsoon