Our New Releases – April 20, 2012

Happy… uh… Hitler’s Birthday? I don’t know why so many hippies are so jazzed about it, but okay.

The Lucky One
Fucking Nicholas Sparks. Don’t ever turn one of his books into a movie again. They’re universally godawful. I wish I could say that “I found your picture in Iraq, so we should fall in love” counts as one of the worse ones, but unfortunately, no, it’s about average. And Zac Efron? Zac “I can’t remember if my nickname is spelled with an H or a K, so I’ll just leave it off completely” Efron? You do not look much like a young Matthew Perry. I’m just saying.

Think Like a Man
Just the black version of “He’s Just Not That Into You”. Oh, I’m sorry. The “urban” version of “He’s Just Not That Into You”.

Chimpanzee
Chimps are assholes. Why would I want to watch a movie about them? The only good thing about chimps is when that super granola PETA person starts saying bullshit like “Only Human’s Have War” you can point at the evil ass Chimp.