If you’re looking for new footage, or any real information about the Tyranny of King Washington DLC for Assassin’s Creed 3, well, you’re out of luck. But if, instead, you just want to hear the premise of the DLC explained to you again, but this time in a low voice than you are in luck. This voice will totally explain how Washington isn’t a president, but instead an evil king, and you have to make his stop doing that. But it takes a minute and a half to cover that information, and he sounds like he might go of on a tangent that begins with “In a world…” at any moment.
I dunno. A few months ago I would have been ecstatic about this, but after the disappointment that was Assassin’s Creed 3, I don’t know if I want to go back. Unless the DLC is all the crazy dungeon exploration that wasn’t included in Assassin’s Creed 3, or they make the parkour more challenging (I’m not expecting Mirror’s Edge here, but even Assassin’s Creed 2, a really simple game, had much more complicated parkour) or, I dunno, undo one of a million other changes they made to make the game, already designed to have as wide an appeal as possible, appeal to even MORE people, I just really can’t be excited about it.
Like, seriously, is there anything more inappropriate to all of a sudden happen when interrogating a British soldier? Seriously, NSFW guys. I mean, there isn’t nudity, nor should there be in Assassin’s Creed 3, colonials were very modest.
It’s that time of year again: Awards season. Can you believe Spike has been parading out the Video Game Awards for 10 years now? I’m in shock. Well, they announced the nominees somewhat in advance of their December 7th airing. And here’s our nominees for Game of the Year
-Assassin’s Creed 3
-Mass Effect 3
-The Walking Dead: The Game
Nice list. Weirdest is that 2 on the list are mainly download only games. Times are a-changing. It’s also weird seeing a huge list of games that were popular condensed down to five. But I double-checked and these should work fine. Games sales were at an all-time low recently. Leave room for the truly great.
It’s that time in a game’s cycle when people want to make music videos based on. This one is for Assassin’s Creed 3, it’s a little pedestrian but includes some nice production value including a dancing revolutionary hussy. I wish I had a revolutionary hussy. She’d be all about liberation and whatnot.
Maybe that’s not entirely accurate, but that doesn’t take away from the awesome video above featuring said female assassin playing said violin. Assassin’s Creed 3, I hear, is pretty good. And I dig this music. Actually, this game is reminding me of a more bad-ass version of Last of the Mohicans.
I mean, how could there not be? Everything else in the world has already had an Assassin’s Hood attached to it, it was only logical to move on to sleeping robes. And like Insert Coin’s previous Assassin’s Creed clothing, it’s fully licensed and official, so no worry Ubi’s gonna shut you down before you get your robe.
So you can hit up Insert Coin for the new robe. It’s 55 to 60 pounds, depending on the size. I’m not quite sure how that equates to real money, but it’s not cheap. Still, is any price too high for this robe? You’ll be fully prepared for enemy attacks, even just after leaving a shower. Combined with my camo pajama pants, I’m basically prepared for any sort of Red Dawn situation the world might throw at me.
Okay, real life Assassin’s Creed parkour guy, I’ll give you that this is much better than last time. When we last saw you do Assassin’s Creed parkour, I noted that while it was definitely awesome parkour, it wasn’t very Assassin’s Creed-y, because it was too fancy and show off-y. This video, on the other hand, recreating Assassin’s Creed 3′s Connor is much better. You look like Connor, and most of your moves look better. But you’re still doing too many flips! I realize you probably loves your flips, but it looks weird and out of place in what is otherwise a fantastic bit of cosplay/parkour. Maybe improve on that next time. Make your awesome parkour videos slightly less awesome, so they’ll be slightly more accurate.
Listen, I know there’s been a lot of them. Since the game was announced we’ve been hit with a ridiculous number of trailers for this game. But with the game being released today, this North American launch trailer is probably the last we’ll see of it.
Of trailers, I mean. Obviously we’re still gonna see parody videos and covers of music and recreations of important scenes made in LEGO or whatever. A game this big will continue dominate the internet for a long time. So, if you’re not as Assassin’s Creed fan… sorry about that. For everyone else, Oh my god, it’s finally here! I’m so stopping that solar flare… somehow.
Oh, and it should be noted that when I say this is the last “Assassin’s Creed 3″ trailer, I mean specifically “Assassin’s Creed 3″. I’m sure we’ll see another Liberation trailer sometime this week, and the inevitable trailer for the DLC in a couple of months. But this game specifically won’t have any more trailers. Probably. Check back tomorrow, maybe I’ll be proven wrong.
Assassin’s Creed 3 is released tomorrow, and it will wrap up an arc that’s five games in the making, not even including all the handheld games. But what if you haven’t played any of those games, and you just want to jump in to the series with the last game? Well, that’s insane. Go play the old games. They’re all really good. Well, the first one is a bit repetitive, and gets kind of slow near the end, and Revelations is, like, “Jesus, I’ve seen enough Ezio.” But they’re all worth playing. Get on it!
But, okay, maybe you don’t have time to play them all, but still really want to get in on the whole deal. Or you have played them all, but can’t remember what’s going on. Which, man, it’s not that complicated, just pay attention. But anyway, IGN’s created this little recap to remind you exactly who this Desmond guy you keep seeing is, and why he keeps remembering people in the past. It’s kind of long, but there was a lot of story to recap. Four games of historical events that you have to murder your way through. Finally it all makes sense in context. Except they imply that Adam and Eve were working with the first race, and that video really makes it appear that they were working against them. Maybe that will be further explained in part 3.