Tag Archive for Avengers

This Attractive Lady Will Be Your Scarlet Witch

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This is Elizabeth Olsen, who, despite sharing the first name of the actress that plays Peggy Olson, and the last name of the character Peggy Olson, is not Elizabeth Moss.  Don’t make that mistake. 

Anyway. Sam Jackson announced she’s going to be Scarlet Witch in Avengers: Whatever Ultron, because apparently that’s how Marvel’s announcing new actors now, by having someone “accidentally” reveal the news.  Sure.

Elisabeth Olsen has been in… ummm… movies before… I’m sure?  People act like she’s a name you should recognize, so why not?  Certainly she’s pretty enough to look at, and since everything about the Scarlet Witch is insane, any choice she makes acting wise could be considered to be faithful to the character if you think about it long enough, so… well done, I suppose.

Agents of SHIELD Is Improved Through the Magic of Terrible Voice Over

Agents of SHIELD premiers tonight, so it’s no longer okay to dick around with this.  We’ve had several months of well edited trailers that sell us the show without hammering us over the head with it.  But this commercial, which aired last night, is not risking that anymore.  They know you’re a moron who needs literally everything explained for you.  So, this trailer, which is going to spell everything out for you through this horrendous voice over.  Nothing will be left unclear. You will watch this show, damn it.

Uh, His First Name is “Agent”

Next in the series of videos introducing the Agents of Agents of SHIELD is this look at Agent Coulson. No explanation so far on why precisely he’s, you know, not dead, but on the other hand all those funny lines he says in the other trailers are also in this trailer, so that’s… okay, there’s really nothing new here. But it’s Phil Coulson! We love Phil Coulson! So here’s some more Phil Coulson!

So, just a month left to the premier. That seems like too far away. Who do we talk to about getting a look at that pilot episode before then? I mean, without going to a massive convention or something?

Here’s Your Agents of SHIELD in Poster Form

Just in case all those trailers and character spots were just too exciting, here’s all the Agents of SHIELD standing static in front of a black background. Finally even the most bland of viewers will be able to say “Hey, wait a tic… didn’t that guy get stabbed?” He did indeed. But now he’s back. Little worse for wear. And he’s going to lead a team of relative newcomers and also Mulan as they fight a monster of the week, probably with the sort of quick snappy dialogue that will convince you that they all probably graduated from Sunnydale High. Cause that’s just what we do.

Avengers 2 is Now Avengers: Age of Ultron Despite a Noticeable Lack of Ant-Man

I’m not the world’s biggest Marvel expert. I didn’t know what a Guardian of the Galaxy was until the the movie was announced, and I’m still unclear on the whole Peter Parker/Ben Reilly thing. But even I know that Ultron, the jerkass robot that keeps trying destroy humanity for unclear roboty reasons, was built by Hank Pym/Ant-Man. So how can it be that we’ve got a movie about Ultron before we’re actually getting around to making that Ant-Man movie? Is Hank Pym going to be in this new Avengers? Maybe he’s just a science guy who makes Ultron, and only later, in his own movie, becomes Ant-Man? Or is Ultron just going to be his own thing? Hopefully not the latter. That sounds lame. Ant-Man and Ultron should be connected. Seems like an important bit.

Speaking of SHIELDs, Meet Agent Grant Ward

Not a Shield. This is a Shield. This video is about SHIELD. What Marvel was thinking having a hit who carries around a Shield and a group called SHIELD at the same time, I’ll never know, but we’ll have to muddle through.

So, anyway, Grant Ward. He’s SHIELD’s shooty guy, apparently. He’s also got other hilarious character traits, like not understanding jokes (though that claim is undercut by the “Someone really wanted our initials to spell SHIELD” bit, which was pretty entertaining) and… other stuff that I’ll assume we learn about him later? I’m sure he has more than the one character trait. Well… pretty sure.

But the big question is: Will he be the one that says wildly inappropriate things that everyone else is thinking but would never say? It’s a Joss Whedon Skye, we need at least one. But I’m thinking probably not. That’s probably hacker girl’s job. She seems like a Cordelia type.

It’s Been More Than a Day Since An Agents of SHIELD Trailer? Probably Time for an Agents of SHIELD Trailer

It’s still several months until “Tuesdays This Fall” guys.  Maybe you want to slow down just a bit on these Agents of SHIELD trailers?  Otherwise you’re gonna find yourself in August with nothing to sell the show with but that video of Luke Cage jumping out the window for the millionth time.  That’d be silly.

Meanwhile, I dunno about Luke Cage.  I mean, I’m sure that’s Luke Cage, but it feels more like he might be the mystery of the week.  They’ll investigate him, discover his secret, and then even though the powers that be want him captured, our heroes will find a way to let him free, because even though they’re working for the shady government group, they still have morals and they know he’s a good guy.  And that will be the end of it.

But I really hope he comes back.  Maybe they’ll treat him like they did when he was Gunn, where he’s a quasi member of the team for a while, working toward common goals, but not actually part of the group?  I just want him in more episodes.  Because both J August Richards and Luke Cage are awesome, so why wouldn’t I want more of them, especially when combined into one person?

Agents of SHIELD Will Have Explosions, Cars… And That’s Gotta Be Luke Cage, Right?

Is that racist?
“You assumed he’s the super strong black guy just because he’s super strong and happens to be portrayed by a black man?”
Well… Yeah.
“That’s totally racist! He could be any super strong guy, and they just chose J August Richards because they thought he was best for the part.”
Well, damn.
“But yeah, he’s probably Luke Cage.”
Well, alright then.

So, yeah, here’s your first look at Agents of SHIELD, which, I don’t know exactly what they’re doing here. It’s all got a bit of an X-Files vibe, but that doesn’t make a lot of sense, considering the world is pretty well aware of this weirdness by now. Tony Stark’s been running around, Iron Man-ing it up for years. The Hulk and Abomination knocked down half of Harlem. And, oh, right, the Avengers stopped an alien invasion centered on one of the largest cities in the world. I’d say any attempt at secrecy went right out the window. Maybe calm down on the cloak and dagger a bit.

But, still, they’re spies. I’m sure their spy-ness will encourage them to keep things under wraps, which with conflict with Luke Cage’s desire to help the people by making sure they’re as well informed as possible, leading to delicious conflict. They’ll fight their monster or bad guy of the week, all the while learning about some greater threat, slowly building in the background. But it’s from Joss Whedon, so hopefully it’ll be more intertwined and subtle than Smallville’s “Episode plot is over, season arch plot begins now!” that happened five minutes before the end of every episode. That’d be nice.

Wait, Are Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch Gonna Be in The Avengers?

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Joss Whedon was interviewed about Avengers 2, and among all your generic “Oh, it’s such an honor” and “We’re all hard at work” and “Go see Iron Man 3″ statements, he also mentioned this: “Oh, I’ve got these two characters, two of my favorite characters from the comic books; a brother/sister act. They’re in the movie, that’s exciting.”

Now, obviously if you hear “Brother/Sister” in relation to the Marvel Universe, your brain is going right to Wanda and Pietro, because, well, they’re siblings, but they also sometimes sleep together.  Even in the versions where they aren’t explicitly doing that, well, Wanda gives birth to a kid with super speed powers and we never really learn who the father is, so, make your own assumptions.  Still, try to put that aside for a moment, forget about the creepy incest plots, and try to think of any other brother/sister combos in the Marvel Universe.  I sure can’t think of one, and when I googled it, all I got was a million pages of Wanda/Pietro fan fiction.

So, assume for the moment that it is them.  Apparently, despite being mutants, they spent enough time with the Avengers that Marvel was able to negotiate a hazy shared rights deal with Fox.  So, theoretically Marvel could have them in The Avengers, while Fox had a completely different pair in one of their X-Men movies.  Still, I think we can assume that’s not gonna happen.  Fox had their chance for Quicksilver when they wrote a super speedy character in X-Men 3, but they chose to go with “Dude we just made up.”  So, that’s dealt with, but how do you introduce them into the movie.  There’s been no mention of mutants in the Marvel movie universe.  I have to assume that along with the rights to Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch comes the rights to mention the concept of mutants, but still, when they’re the only two that appear to exist in this world, it’s gonna be a might bit distracting.  But the only other options, claiming they got their powers another way or just not explaining them, are worse.  Claim the powers come from somewhere else, and you might as well write off all the nerds in the world, as the X-Men fans and the Whedonites go to war, and destroy each other.  But just don’t explain the powers, and you’ve gutted the characters.  They are mutants. Not only mutants, but the children of the grand high terrorist mutant. That’s the defining characteristic of these two.  Don’t use that, and what’s the point of even having them? 

Seems like too much effort, really.  Let’s just have Captain Marvel instead.  He’s fun.  Or She-Hulk.  Ooh, and Daredevil.  But they don’t use their powers.  They’re just lawyers. And the whole movie is just then defending the Avengers against a lawsuit over all the damage that was incurred during the Chituari invasion.  Best movie ever.

From ComicBookMovie

Patton Oswalt Has Great Pitch About Worst Movie Ever

Parks and Recreation posted this unedited clip of Patton Oswalt ranting as part of the episode. In it, he makes a Star Wars/Avengers crossover movie that makes little sense and is jam-packed with the internet’s worst fan service ideas. Good job, Patton Oswalt, I hope that movie never gets made.