Tag Archive for Books

Beer of Thrones Makes You Gamey

This seems dangerous. It’s a beer that makes you act out scenarios from Game of Thrones, likely more TV than the book. A bit extreme. I don’t think I’ll partake of this beer, just in case I’m the one beheaded or spanked.

More Grumpy Old Han Solo

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To be fair, he’s grumpy because he has to teach/torture this kid to be the savior of humanity from an invading race of bug monsters, and that’s bound to make anyone a touch surly.  But every single shot or picture or video that’s come out, he’s got the exact same scowl. 

“For this next scene, I think I’m gonna scowl.”
“Okay, Harrison, but-”
“…”
“Okay Mr. Ford, that’s nice, but you’ve literally scowled in every shot so far.  Maybe this time you could…”
“…”
“No, alright.  More scowling.  Scowling is good.”

I Feel Like You’re Not Even Trying, Under the Dome

Everything about this just seems off. I mean, I don’t mind a few little changes to an adaptation if it helps the story move along. I don’t even mind major changes to an adaptation if it makes the movie better. Hell, I know it makes me pretty much a heretic, but Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince is one of my favorite Harry Potter movies, and that movie kind of knows what the plot of the book is, and not a lot else. So I’m willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. But what’s going on here? These changes serve no purpose. How is Phil Bushey being an angry radio DJ going to help? That’s just a needless complication. Does he still cook meth? That’s all he really needs to do. Why can we see the damn dome? I realize that it’s TV, and it’s a visual medium, but the point is that the dome was invisible. Just a hazy force field is far less terrifying. And why do people keep running into it when you can see it? And why is Duke Perkins in so many scenes in this trailer? I mean, spoiler alert if you haven’t read the books, but he kind of leaves us fairly early on. And that’s kind of important. He can’t be around, or else everything falling apart makes less sense.

Maybe this all works. Maybe in context all these changes will work together, and it will tell a story just as good as the story that they’re not telling from the book. And if so, great, I’ll be happy. I hope that’s what happens. I’d love to be wrong about all of this.

But I doubt it.

Wizarding World of Harry Potter Adds a Diagon Alley, I Pee Myself a Little In Excitement

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Because there’s absolutely nothing that can’t be improved by more Harry Potter, Universal Studios will be expanding the Wizarding World of Harry Potter into Universal Studios proper.  The current section is in the Islands of Adventure, but starting next year you’ll be able to get your Harry Potter on in either park.  Islands of Adventure will continue to be Hogsmeade and Hogwarts and they will build a chunk of London and Diagon Alley in Universal Studios.  Finally you’ll be able to take a short walk from Amity Island to The Leaky Cauldron, like god intended.  And the best bit, the most wonderful bit, is that they will connect the two parks allowing you to ride from “London” to “Hogsmeade” on the Hogwarts Express.  I could cry.

From Comingsoon

Here’s Ender’s Game’s Crazy Old Man

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From Entertainment Weekly comes this first look at Ender’s Game’s Mazer Rackman, who, with his ridiculous facial tattoo and even ridiculouser name appears to be making a solid push for citizenship in Panem.  Instead he’ll teach Ender everything you need to know when fighting a bunch of telekinetic bug people.  Which, in retrospect might be a spoiler? Screw it, they’re the ones that released the image.

Now, admittedly, it’s an impressive image, and would probably be fairly memorable, if they hadn’t chosen to release it the same week that most of us will be watching an even more ridiculouser-ier Ben Kingsley in action.  But this week it’s just a crazy facial tattoo.  That barely even moves the needle on the “Crazy Shit on Ben Kingsley” meter next to The Mandarin.

Oh, Good, Another Ridiculously Large LEGO Playset You Can’t Afford

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Why should Star Wars get all the wildly overpriced LEGO sets?  LEGO Lord of the Rings wants to get in on that action as well.  So that’s what they’re gonna do with this LEGO version of Sauraman’s Tower at Isengard, which apparently isn’t called Isengard?  I’ve spent the last decade under the impression that this place was called Isengard, and now you’re telling me that’s not true?  “Oh, no, Isengard is just the name for the general area.  The tower itself is called Orthanc.”  Well, glad we got that cleared up.  Point is you’ll be able to build Orthanc or Isengard or “That One Saruman Tower” or whatever you want to call it.  And all for the low low price of two hundred effing dollars.  Hooray!

Head Back to the Crappy End of the Sixties With Stephen King and JJ Abrams

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Are these newest episodes of Mad Men making you pine for the good old days, when it was about the end of the Sixties without Woodstock or the Beatles?  When it was still pretty much the Fifties, so women could just shut their pretty little mouths, and if anyone felt like being counter culture they at least had the goddamn decency to keep quiet about it?  Well, good news!  JJ Abrams is trying to turn Stephen King’s 11/22/63 into a show or miniseries.  Follow time traveler Jake Epping as he lives though the late fifties and early sixties in an attempt to stop the Kennedy assassination.  And if you thought 1960 was shitty in New York City (you can just call it New York) just wait until you see it in rural Texas.  That’s a load of fun.  Can’t wait.

From Screen Rant

G*a*m*e*o*f*T*h*r*o*n*e*s

I think I’m suffering from asterisk overdose now.  Here’s the Friends opening titles version of Game of Thrones, which I’m sure is a thing that someone else has already done, but I’ll post them every time, because anyone who can comb through enough footage to find a solid minute of characters actually smiling deserves some credit.  I mean, other than Joffrey’s creepy serial killer smile.

Also because Clapclapclapclap!

I Wonder If I’ll Ever Get Tired of Game of Thrones Covers

If so, that day is not today.  Here’s the Game of Thrones theme covered by some cellos.  Because you can basically cover that theme on anything an upload it to YouTube, and we’ll watch it.  We’re easily controlled.

Then here’s those two harp girls, both covering The Rains of Castamere and proving once again that the harp is not a standing up instrument.  Ladies, you look ridiculous.  Just sit down.

Some Actual Under the Dome Footage

It’s one of these “First Look” things, so the ratio of “Talking heads describing how awesome it’s going to be” to “Actually showing you how awesome it is” is still unfortunately skewed.  But after every other preview which had just been some pretty words or maybe a still image, seeing any part of it is nice.  There are still some big issues, Dale Barbara is disappointing in action, and as awesome as Uncle Hank and his rocks are on Breaking Bad, he’s just not Big Jim Rennie.  Still, it could be worse.  It could be that ‘Salem’s Lot with Rob Lowe.  The hell was that nonsense?