Despite the fact that you’ve seen Jack Sparrow in every trailer for Disney Infinity, someone’s still worried that you don’t know about Jack Sparrow’s inclusion in this game. So here’s a trailer just for him, and the Pirates world for him to hang out in. It’s very pirate-y. So, don’t worry about it. Pirates are totally available. And if you need more pirates, they’re only a moderately priced action figure away.
Tag Archive for Disney
Disney Animation announced today that they will be getting in on some of that sweet Marvel action with an animated movie based on Big Hero 6, which Wikipedia assures me is an actual thing and not just some fever dream Disney had while watching Spider-Man and friends. A group of superheroes fight to protect the city of San Fransokyo, which we get a look at in that teaser video up top, from a terrible criminal enterprise. So… ridiculous. Just all kinds of ridiculous. Precisely the sort of thing you’d want to see animated by the people who made Tangled. And even if it’s a fantastic failure in all ways, it just can’t be any worse than any animated movie Marvel made. Ever.
If you’ve ever wanted Max from Sam & Max, Indiana Jones, Guybrush Threepwood, and other famous LucasArts characters teaming up to solve a mystery, than you are in luck because this thing just hit the internet. They are all are in the same place for some reason, and they have to find out why. It’s a fun ending. And everybody’s here. Even the main guy from The Dig, and no one thinks fondly of that guy. What’s his name?
Don’t take my word for it. Just ask Pixar’s John Lasseter. The freedom provided to you by allowing you to build a platform for Buzz Lightyear to jump off of (assuming, of course, that you purchased the Buzz Lightyear action figure to unlock him in the game) is pretty much the same as running an animation studio. Just varying degrees of creative freedom is all it is.
Honestly, though, as much as I like making fun of this entire concept, I think they got my number. I used to think Skylanders was the dumbest concept in the world. But it turns out if they give me characters I care about, instead of Spyro and… Spyro’s Molten Rocky friend it’s a much more appealing. Let’s just hope they make enough toys. I keep hearing horror stories about Skylander shortages. I don’t want to have to fight a little kid over the last Sebastian the Crab in the state. “I need him to complete my possibly racist-voiced sidekick collection! You don’t understand!”
Short of Disney Infinity, Disney has gutted their entire gaming department, going so far as to shut down Lucasarts, which was barely even theirs. But to make up for it, they’re going to just release all their old stuff again. We saw Ducktales already, and now we’re getting Castle of Illusion. Can a remastered version of Aladdin or The Lion King be far off? All your favorite Disney side scrollers will eventually be turned into new, nicer looking versions of themselves. I’m holding out for Chip and Dale: Rescue Rangers Remastered. That’ll be a good day.
I may have realized this already, but Disney Infinity’s Toy Box mode looks a lot like the capabilities of LittleBigPlanet. The difference here is less Sackboy, more of everything Disney. Looks like Disney can be a pretty big bully now. Everybody get out of the way, Disney is coming!
Star Wars may be owned by Disney, but this probably won’t be what the movie is like. I mean, they don’t literally have kids writing their movies. They write them for kids. There’s a difference. Sometimes it seems like there isn’t much of a difference. I’m looking at the Disney Channel for this one. I’ve found nothing redeemable the 4 times I’ve watched it recently. And look, a man dressed as Princess Leia, how quaint.
Sure, you might recognize that Cars is pretty much the worst thing that Pixar has ever done (the Cars franchise, I mean, obviously Cars 2 is much worse) but you’re not a kid. Kids don’t care about artistry behind Wall-E or the absolutely heart breaking first ten minutes of Up. They like talking cars. And if those talking cars could also occasionally make a fart joke, well, all the better. And what’s the only thing better than cars that talk? Airplanes that talk! So, this is happening. And despite once being a direct to DVD movie, like it clearly deserves to be, it’s coming to theaters. Cause screw you.
Now, that being said, are they aware it’s a kid’s movie? They cast Dane Cook. Dude says fuck about nine hundred times in a comedy special. Why would they do that? And then they stick More Human Than Human in the trailer? I mean, right away, if you ask if we should put a White Zombie song in a Disney trailer, right away the answer is No. Obviously. But More Human Than Human? A song that starts with the audio of a woman masturbating for thirty seconds? Double no. I care how much it kind of sort of sounds like something that might be played over airplanes. Surely there’s something better than that. That’s just… eww.
We all wonder how movies end after the credits, even Disney movies. Well most of the Disney princesses apparently met pretty ghastly ends. You can hear about it all in song. Here you go.
Probably not, right? I mean, why else would Disney be making a new Beauty and the Beast? I mean, if there had been, like, two or three versions of Beauty and the Beast released in the last couple of years there’s no way Disney would be making another one, would they? No way. So Disney’s newest version of Beauty and the Beast, a live action movie titled “The Beast” is going to seem super original, and not Deep Impact times a thousand (in the sense that they’re releasing the same movie at the same time, I don’t think the newest version of Beauty and the Beast is going to be about a comet striking the planet). Good plan, guys. Good plan.