So, the title of the season finale of Doctor Who had been revealed, and it’s “The Name of The Doctor.” Oh, shit! We’re going to learn his real name? Cue that gif of the Supernatural brothers looking crazy surprised.
There it is.
They’re totally going to do it! It’s not like this is going to be one of the million other times they’ve pretended they were going to reveal some huge thing, and then, oh, not really. Except, yes, that’s exactly what it’s like. They’re not going to ruin a mystery that’s existed for fifty years. It’s never going to happen.
And even if they wanted to, how? Most writers can’t even agree what “The Doctor” means. Some episodes he clearly has a regular name, but in others The Doctor is his name. The Master said he chose it, but no one ever said he had a name before that. Sometimes it just is his name. Still, since the blue head guy in the last season finale said that if The Doctor ever told us his real name it would end the universe it would appear that for the moment he does have a real name. On the other hand, the blue head guy said that if The Doctor said his real name it would end the universe so we can assume he’s not going to do that. Quit freaking out.
Sure, she’s a little impossible. She’s died at least twice, that we know of, and she’s still kickin’. That’s odd. That may warrant an investigation. But I think he may be overemphasizing the impossibility. He’s seen a lot of impossible stuff. His whole life is pretty much going from one impossible thing to another. Why’s he treating this one so special? It’s not like he hasn’t, on occasion, died and gotten better. This is the pot calling the kettle black. Or the “once erased himself entirely from ever having existed and then got better” pot calling the “reincarnated a couple of times” kettle impossible. One of these is slightly more ridiculous than the other.
Apparently we give tv shows posters now? I guess. They’d like to remind you that the second half of this ridiculously stretched out and delayed season is actually going to show up, eventually. Hooray. The Doctor will ride a motorcycle though glass while followed by the terrifying disembodied head of Oswin Oswald, smiling like some sort of horror movie clown. Weird.
There’s also a synopsis for the first episode I didn’t read cause it’s only a damn month away (you can check it out here, if interested) but I did notice the bad guys are going to be called “Spoonheads” which, if you remember, is the Bajoran pejorative for Cardassians. So I’m just going to go ahead and assume the Doctor Who/Star Trek crossover is spilling over into the live action series, and that the villains will, on fact, be Cardassians. And maybe they can resurrect Weyoun. They are time travelers, after all. The would be the best episode ever.
Like many things I find online that are Doctor Who related, I’m sure it would be funnier if I watched more. And this one is more obscure because it brings jokes form 4th and 8th doctors in. Maybe more. Still, nice mashup.
This is Doctor Whooves, one of those background characters that no one would have noticed unless the fandom hadn’t decided that he looked enough like The Doctor that he deserved a gajillion side stories that they would happily write about him.
And while Hasbro may not have given the fans that time traveling adventures of a background horse, like they wanted, they are still a toy company, and as such will happily sell you toys of anything you’ll be silly enough to pay for. So, the Doctor Whooves vinyl figure. Team him up with your Derpy figure and make your own stories. Or just bring it to the next Doctor Who convention to terrify David Tennant with the horse version of himself. Whatever you want.
David Bradley, who’s probably most well known for being creepy old Filch in the Harry Potter movies, but also plays Walder Frey in Game of Thrones and showed up on Doctor Who as a crazy old dinosaur hunter, will be appearing as the First Doctor. More specifically, he’ll be portraying William Hartnell, the man who played the first Doctor, in An Adventure of Space and Time, a biopic type thing about the creation of the show. Which is perfect, because if there’s one crazy old man scarier than William Hartnell it’s David Bradley. How did this show even get started with crazy old man Hartnell yelling at everyone all the time? Was Britain in the sixties so depressing that watching angry old men berate everyone else on a show better than anything else we can be doing? I guess we’ll find out.
So, that’s a big weekend. Doctor Who and Game of Thrones coming back the same weekend? The number of nerdy baked goods on Pinterest are going to be off the charts. So, be on the lookout for that. Maybe a cupcake with a White Walker saying “EXTERMINATE!” or something.
In other Doctor Who news, somehow all the Doctors are going to be in the fifty year anniversary special Even if a few of them are a little, you know, dead, we’re gonna magic em up to get them to share a screen with Matt Smith as he fights some sort of thing that requires the assistance of literally every iteration of himself. Which, how do you even get guys from behind the time lock thingy? Time travel makes no sense. I guess we kind of established that the reason the Time Lords can’t be unlocked is because they’re kind of assholes trying to destroy the universe. But still, some of those Doctors have to be stuck behind that Time Lock whosit, right? Right?
Sure, it was a long shot. I mean, she blew up. Also, it would be difficult to drag her around. They have trouble going up stairs, they’re super slow. And then there’s the obvious issue with the fact that pretty much everyone in the universe would be kind of terrified when she showed up. But that doesn’t mean I wasn’t hopeful. Ever since she showed up in that first episode, part of me has been hoping the when she joined the show as a regular that she would be in Dalek form. Doctor and the Dalek would be the best show ever.
Still, we must soldier on. She’ll join the TARDIS as a boring old humany human who mysteriously keeps not being dead. They’ll do some things and run around a lot. It’ll be fine. Just won’t be a Dalek.
This is the officially licensed TARDIS computer case from Scan a British computer manufacturer. Which, yeah, it looks awesome. But how? It’s all tall and boxy and weird looking. How does a computer fit in there without getting all overheated? Sorcery, I expect. Anyway, if you really need your computer to look like The Doctor’s mode of conveyance, well, it’s not gonna be cheap. The base model is 936 pounds, and that’s before you figure out how to ship it across the pond. And still, that’s the basic model, which, that’s not exactly going to run Crysis 3. You’re going to be paying even more if you want a decent computer.
Probably better to just buy a blue case and just call it the TARDIS. Easier for everyone.