You know that guy. He’s taking this whole thing way too seriously. You’re an elf, and you’re fighting a dragon. It’s supposed to be fun. But he’s gotta make it all kinds of insane. So here’s a movie for that guy.
That guy is running a game of D&D, and he makes the unfortunate decision to invite a new school “cool” nerd into the game. Now the wheels are coming off the thing, and they’re in a battle for the soul of the group. Or, more accurately, That Guy is in a battle for the soul of the group, and the new cool guy is just a bit confused. Which, right there with him, it is all a bit confusing. But at least it’s nerds being nerds, and not just a couple of guys who are “hilariously nerdy” because they can’t finish a sentence without finding a way to fit a reference to Star Trek in there. May make us look bad, but at least it’s honestly bad, and not Big Bang Theory bad.
This was a disaster waiting to happen. Why does this guy have no friends? Surely, this guy knows somebody that would play with him rather than his bitch of a phone. Dungeons & Dragons is meant to be a time to together with your closest nerd friends and then tear them a new one for their decision-making. Oh, forlorn.
Spoiler alert, it’s Patrick Rothfuss. I know it was difficult to guess, from that incredibly complicated title, so I thought I’d just let you know. Yup, this year the writer of Name of the Wind will new stepping in to the mysteriously absent Wil Wheaton’s spot (did he run over Gabe’s dog? What happened?) to be playing… mostly Kvothe. Like, a pretty Kvothe-y dude. All kinds of Kvothe-ness exuding from this guy.
You can visit Pat’s Blog for more info about the whole thing.
Hit the jump for the other two Interviews, which are mostly just Kris Straub doing silly voices and trying to get sued. Read more
Oh, boy. KRE-O Dungeons and Dragons. Isn’t that exciting? Aren’t you overjoyed to learn that LEGO’s dumb ass cousin will be in charge of one of your favorite franchises?
There is a moment of excitement, though, right? You see minifig Drizzt fighting a bunch of minifig orcs, and your heart leaps with joy. LEGO D&D? This is the best news ever. Then it starts to sink in. “Wait, these minifigs don’t look right. And doesn’t Hasbro own Wizards of the Coast?” And then your eyes drift hesitantly upwards, to the line of text that you ignored the first time due to all your excitement about D&D minifigs. KRE-O. KRE-O D&D. You could not be more disgusted if you poured out a bowl of Fruit Loops and a spider’s egg sac came with it. Ugh. The sets will probably be, like, twelve pieces. Twelve pieces that can’t be used for anything but that specific set. Goddamn KRE-O.
I’m not entirely sure what this means. It’s been in “Open Beta” forever now. And from what I understand they aren’t taking any character progress away for the official launch. And it’s free to play, so it doesn’t mean that you’ll have to buy the game or pay a subscription to keep playing. The only difference between “Open Beta” and “Official Release” seems to be what we’re calling it.
Still, that seems like enough of an excuse to release this launch trailer. A trailer that truly establishes “Yup, it’s another MMO.” Right click on a thing, then press numbers until it dies. Interact with an Elf named “TheGreateest” that really wants you to know how high he is right now. Constantly talk to NPCs that would like to remind you that no matter how much pretend money you collect, it’s really useless, because everything worth owning costs real money, so fork it over, because this is somehow better than paying a fifteen dollar a month fee.
Oh, and the Dungeons and Dragons license is in there somewhere, but it’s not something you’re likely to notice.
Well, this certainly isn’t going to help stem the notion that all D&D games are just beat em ups with nothing that really makes D&D unique in the game. Chronicles of Mystara is actually two separate classic D&D beat em ups being released together this week. Basically if you liked Golden Axe, but thought it needed more characters, or more officially licensed D&D monsters, like The Beholder, this is the game for you. If you were hoping for a game that really encapsulates the freedom allowed by tabletop gaming, you should probably just go do some tabletop gaming. This is not going to be your cup of tea. Also, you’re about twenty years too late to complain about it.
Because Torment: Tides of Numenera has reached it’s two and a half million dollar point on Kickstarter already, Colin McComb is going to apologize for his past mistakes. This particular video is for The Complete Book of Elves, which I guess we don’t like? I don’t really enjoy anything that D&D 2nd edition gave us, so I guess that’s true for me. But really, I don’t know what’s going on here. I don’t have strong feelings about elf books in any way. The fact that apparently enough people do to make it reward is entertaining, though. Just D&D how you want! Don’t get so hung up on the rules.
You can’t just be using the fey step constantly, all “Poof, poof, poof!” like Nightcrawler. That’s an encounter power. You can only use it once per fight. Totally unbelievable.
So, here’s yet another CG trailer for an MMO, and I guess we’re all supposed to pretend for a moment that the game’s actually going to look like this. When in actuality it’s going to look s lot like every other MMO ever, except with Tieflings and Dragonborn.
And it’s free to play, so every few moments will be followed by a pop up box that says something like “That was a good hit, but you could be hitting even better with a pair of Gloves of Blessed Strength, available for six hundred Astral Diamonds (Click Here to Purchase Astral Diamonds)”. That’s always fun.
So, here’s the thing. You’re rolling up a new character for your D&D game. You decide you’re going to be a thief. So what race do you choose? Probably halfling, right? Maybe gnome or elf? And why? Because they get the bonuses to the stats you need. You’re probably not going to be a half-orc. You’re not going to be a halfling paladin or goliath wizard. Or if you are, you’re going to do it knowing that that character is going to be less effective than your team mates. You’ve made the decision to be less good at the game you’re playing for the sake of role playing. You’re gonna be a half-orc thief, because that’s the character you want to play.
But that’s lame. Why should half-orcs be less impressive than elves at thieving? Why should the entire race be uniform? Why can’t we have a half-orc that’s strong and a half-orc that’s dexterous? Why can’t there be the occasional intelligent goliath? I mean, sure, you could use points to buy the stats you want, or roll and roll and roll until you have the stats you need. But that inherent bonus is always going to help. Reggie the Goliath Barbarian always going to be a bit stronger than an Elf Barbarian. Basically punishing you for attempting to make a unique character.
So why isn’t the bonus attached to the class? It makes sense, you probably wouldn’t choose to be a thief if you attend naturally dexterous, or choose to spend years studying spells if you weren’t intelligent. You could be the halfling that was always lifting weights. So instead of applying the bonus to the races, we have all the races start with the same basic stats, and then build from there, based on what their character is like, instead of what their race is supposed to be. Seems like that would offer the freedom to role play the way you want, instead of locking you into a character you don’t particularly enjoy. And isn’t that the whole point?
Lots of loud discord happened when Wizards of the Coast yanked all of their old books offline so that you couldn’t use them. “You must use the latest editions,” they said. Well a little side project has made them digitally yours once again. All Dungeons & Dragons books are downloadable at Dungeons & Dragons Classics. If you act now, you can download first edition player’s handbook for free. Just in case you want to play something they’ve tinkered with for decades. You probably prefer phonographs, too.