Holy hell, what is happening in this game? Retro graphics, multiple time lines, a “team” consisting of twenty or thirty members? Did Final Fantasy get drunk and try to mate a time machine and a cloning machine? Outside of “active time battle system” literally no part of this combat system makes any sense to me. Does each row fight together, maybe? And if so, what does it matter? Why would I have thirty characters on the screen when they’re really only doing the work of five? Is it a series of nothing but boss battles, or did they just decide everything had to be giant to justify the giant armies?

I dunno. And probably won’t get a chance to find out, as it seems to be an iOS game, and I have no iOS devices. And that may be for the best. Because, jesus, these microtransactions. I don’t mind paying for a game. I don’t even mind paying for DLC, as long as it adds a decent amount of new content for a decent price. But this game. 3.99 for the core game. Not so bad. A little pricey for mobile, but Square’s mobile games have been historically overpriced, so that’s not a surprise. But the extra purchases. New “Worlds” from Final Fantasy 7, 10 and 13 for another 3.99 each. So, now we’re up to sixteen bucks for the whole game. Alright. Then the “Premium” characters. .99 for each character. But you don’t get to see which one you’re purchasing, so like a Magic booster pack you’ll end up making several purchases before you get the guy you want. If you actually want all the characters that’s another thirty five bucks. So, fifty one dollars total for a mobile game. That’s… ouch.