I understand, guys.  You blew up the Eiffel Tower last time, and no one cared. “Oh, no Paris might melt!  Boo hoo!”  That’s a blow to your terrorist ambitions.  So you aim higher.  London!  They speak the same language as America, they have Kate Middleton, who Americans are obsessed with for some reason, but it’s still not an American city, which have all been blown up so many times no one even notices.  That makes sense.  But why do we insist on centering all the attacks on the London Eye?  In the last decade, it’s all we attack.  The city is full of memorable landmarks, Big Ben, Buckingham Palace, that one power plant from that one record cover.  But still, every time it’s a Ferris Wheel.  Oh, no!  Not a Ferris Wheel!  Not a device that a couple of drunk fair workers can build in a couple of hours!

Anyway, otherwise it’s still GI Joe: Retaliation.  The Rock spends a lot of time smirking and/or looking pensive, Bruce Willis makes jokes about being old, and Channing Tatum is probably still going to die.  All about the same.  But now in 3D!

After being delayed for several months to make GI Joe more 3D and more Channing Tatum-y, we’ve got a new trailer for the new release and… I’m pretty such this is just the old trailer. I mean, there’s nothing new. Where are all our new Channing Tatum scenes, justifying our delay? These are all the same bits we already saw, but cut in a way and with background music that makes it less exciting than the original trailers. How the hell did they do that? Why would they do that? Why couldn’t they just release the original, not super terrible looking movie? Maybe they just decided to make it terrible, so when it ends up being terrible, they have an excuse. “Oh, it wasn’t our fault! It was the NEW CUT”. Yeah. That must be it.