Remember that Star Wars filibuster? Well now you get some visuals in case it was confusing in any way (only a little). We finally have concept art for the weird Chewbacca spider cyborg thingy.
Tag Archive for Marvel
It’s Been More Than a Day Since An Agents of SHIELD Trailer? Probably Time for an Agents of SHIELD Trailer
It’s still several months until “Tuesdays This Fall” guys. Maybe you want to slow down just a bit on these Agents of SHIELD trailers? Otherwise you’re gonna find yourself in August with nothing to sell the show with but that video of Luke Cage jumping out the window for the millionth time. That’d be silly.
Meanwhile, I dunno about Luke Cage. I mean, I’m sure that’s Luke Cage, but it feels more like he might be the mystery of the week. They’ll investigate him, discover his secret, and then even though the powers that be want him captured, our heroes will find a way to let him free, because even though they’re working for the shady government group, they still have morals and they know he’s a good guy. And that will be the end of it.
But I really hope he comes back. Maybe they’ll treat him like they did when he was Gunn, where he’s a quasi member of the team for a while, working toward common goals, but not actually part of the group? I just want him in more episodes. Because both J August Richards and Luke Cage are awesome, so why wouldn’t I want more of them, especially when combined into one person?
Is that racist?
“You assumed he’s the super strong black guy just because he’s super strong and happens to be portrayed by a black man?”
“That’s totally racist! He could be any super strong guy, and they just chose J August Richards because they thought he was best for the part.”
“But yeah, he’s probably Luke Cage.”
Well, alright then.
So, yeah, here’s your first look at Agents of SHIELD, which, I don’t know exactly what they’re doing here. It’s all got a bit of an X-Files vibe, but that doesn’t make a lot of sense, considering the world is pretty well aware of this weirdness by now. Tony Stark’s been running around, Iron Man-ing it up for years. The Hulk and Abomination knocked down half of Harlem. And, oh, right, the Avengers stopped an alien invasion centered on one of the largest cities in the world. I’d say any attempt at secrecy went right out the window. Maybe calm down on the cloak and dagger a bit.
But, still, they’re spies. I’m sure their spy-ness will encourage them to keep things under wraps, which with conflict with Luke Cage’s desire to help the people by making sure they’re as well informed as possible, leading to delicious conflict. They’ll fight their monster or bad guy of the week, all the while learning about some greater threat, slowly building in the background. But it’s from Joss Whedon, so hopefully it’ll be more intertwined and subtle than Smallville’s “Episode plot is over, season arch plot begins now!” that happened five minutes before the end of every episode. That’d be nice.
Who, that guy in the future? No, that wasn’t me. I mean, it couldn’t be. That guy was bald. How could I go bald, with all this hair? So much glorious hair! No, it must just be some other wheelchair bound psychic mutant named Xavier. Just a coincidence.
I’m never going bald!
Umm, Beast, maybe start work on a serum to keep folks from going bald?
Disney Animation announced today that they will be getting in on some of that sweet Marvel action with an animated movie based on Big Hero 6, which Wikipedia assures me is an actual thing and not just some fever dream Disney had while watching Spider-Man and friends. A group of superheroes fight to protect the city of San Fransokyo, which we get a look at in that teaser video up top, from a terrible criminal enterprise. So… ridiculous. Just all kinds of ridiculous. Precisely the sort of thing you’d want to see animated by the people who made Tangled. And even if it’s a fantastic failure in all ways, it just can’t be any worse than any animated movie Marvel made. Ever.
We already got Wolverine rendered in a Japanese art style, but we could go more Japanese, right? Just really hammer home the fact that damn it, this movie is in Japan? But how? What about a Samurai in that same Japanese art style? Oh, my god. That shit is so Japanese that a giant sweat drop appeared on my forehead thinking about it. Sean Connery just appeared and started ranking people as Sempais and Kohais. It’s all kinds of Japanese up in here. The only way this poster could be any more Japanese would be if there was a woman being molested by an octopus somewhere in there. Just as well. A poster that Japanese would probably create some sort of Japanese event horizon, absorbing all the Japaneseness in the world, and then we’d have to miss Pacific Rim. No one wants that.
In case you were suddenly like, “Shit, I can’t remember what Thor looks like when he’s holding a hammer!” here’s what Thor looks like when he’s holding a hammer. That’s one less thing on your mind.
Whatever is going on in this movie better be effing awesome. I can think of no other reason why they feel the need to show us nothing but Thor looking like Thor. We get it, he’s Thor. Show us a dwarf or something. We’ve done enough Asgardians.
I know, it sounds confusing. But see it from Tony’s perspective. He loves Pepper, and he wants to protect her. But the only way he can do that is to build a veritable army of Iron Man suits. Then if he’s ever attacked by a crazy Russian again, he can pop on a dozen suits in a row, and then hop out of them one at a time, like a deadly robotic matryoshka doll. That’s guaranteed to throw any sort of Russian laser whip bad guy off his game.
So Tony will spend all his free time designing suits to protect Pepper. And if that means he had to spend hours each day in a multi-billion dollar man cave, playing with the best toys ever well, that’s just the sacrifice he’s going to make.
Joss Whedon was interviewed about Avengers 2, and among all your generic “Oh, it’s such an honor” and “We’re all hard at work” and “Go see Iron Man 3″ statements, he also mentioned this: “Oh, I’ve got these two characters, two of my favorite characters from the comic books; a brother/sister act. They’re in the movie, that’s exciting.”
Now, obviously if you hear “Brother/Sister” in relation to the Marvel Universe, your brain is going right to Wanda and Pietro, because, well, they’re siblings, but they also sometimes sleep together. Even in the versions where they aren’t explicitly doing that, well, Wanda gives birth to a kid with super speed powers and we never really learn who the father is, so, make your own assumptions. Still, try to put that aside for a moment, forget about the creepy incest plots, and try to think of any other brother/sister combos in the Marvel Universe. I sure can’t think of one, and when I googled it, all I got was a million pages of Wanda/Pietro fan fiction.
So, assume for the moment that it is them. Apparently, despite being mutants, they spent enough time with the Avengers that Marvel was able to negotiate a hazy shared rights deal with Fox. So, theoretically Marvel could have them in The Avengers, while Fox had a completely different pair in one of their X-Men movies. Still, I think we can assume that’s not gonna happen. Fox had their chance for Quicksilver when they wrote a super speedy character in X-Men 3, but they chose to go with “Dude we just made up.” So, that’s dealt with, but how do you introduce them into the movie. There’s been no mention of mutants in the Marvel movie universe. I have to assume that along with the rights to Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch comes the rights to mention the concept of mutants, but still, when they’re the only two that appear to exist in this world, it’s gonna be a might bit distracting. But the only other options, claiming they got their powers another way or just not explaining them, are worse. Claim the powers come from somewhere else, and you might as well write off all the nerds in the world, as the X-Men fans and the Whedonites go to war, and destroy each other. But just don’t explain the powers, and you’ve gutted the characters. They are mutants. Not only mutants, but the children of the grand high terrorist mutant. That’s the defining characteristic of these two. Don’t use that, and what’s the point of even having them?
Seems like too much effort, really. Let’s just have Captain Marvel instead. He’s fun. Or She-Hulk. Ooh, and Daredevil. But they don’t use their powers. They’re just lawyers. And the whole movie is just then defending the Avengers against a lawsuit over all the damage that was incurred during the Chituari invasion. Best movie ever.