This trailer for Mass Effect 3 DLC really wants you to know that this adventure will involve people you are not currently fighting. Not the Reapers, not the Geth, not Cerberus, but something completely different that feels kind of like Cecil B. Demented with laser guns (or another movie with a closer plot line, I know I’ve seen it, just not where). Anyway, if you for some reason are still playing Mass Effect 3 and aren’t going to be playing any of the dozen major releases this month, here’s one last money suck for you.
Tag Archive for Mass Effect
I don’t care what you say, I loved playing this game. I played it twice back to back, which I haven’t done since Mass Effect 2. And I probably would have done it again if I had time to play 1 and 2 again. Which I don’t. You visit every possible important world, you meet every living character you’ve ever come across, and you get a cohesive ending no matter how unsettling you found it. I also enjoyed the multiplayer even though I was never able to move beyond bronze level of difficulty (shooters still aren’t my favorite genre). They were making additional content up recently as well, kept the RPG aspects of the multiplayer interesting. So yeah. There are probably better games to put here, but I didn’t spend more time playing a top shelf title than this one.
Mass Effect 3
Let’s get this out of the way right away. If you think Mass Effect 3 is a terrible game because the final few minutes were disappointing, you are a whiny baby. Yes, the fact that they made the final few minutes of the game almost indistinguishable from anyone else’s final few minutes, regardless of the choices you made, was irritating. The fact that “blow up the Reapers” and “be best friends with the Reapers” gave you pretty much the same video, except for a differently colored explosion, was dumb. I won’t argue against that. But it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t. We didn’t buy the game for the final few minutes. We didn’t play three games of Shepherd fighting the Reapers and Geth and Cerberus because we were really excited what the last three minutes would look like. We wanted to see the story ended. And it was. Civilizations rise and fall, monsters are destroyed, heroes are sacrificed, villains are defeated. And it’s your story. Despite mostly the same starting point, your game and my game have very little in common. Some characters survive, others are killed, some are raised high, others are punished, entire worlds are wildly altered by your input. Who can complain about this?
Oh, and there’s a pretty solid Horde Mode multiplayer component that, despite sounding like the dumbest thing ever envisioned actually ended up being a crazy amount of fun. The actual gameplay had always been secondary to the dialog wheel in Mass Effect, even in the second game when they tightened it up into a solid squad based third person shooter instead of… whatever the hell Mass Effect was. But here, with a variety of classes and races to choose from, fighting off wave after wave of bloodthirsty enemies with players that weren’t constantly shouting “Not Optimal!” well, that’s the first time I actually appreciated the game as a game, and not just a conversation simulator. Everything about this game was just the best.
Unless you own Mass Effect 3 only on Playstation 3, there has been a steady stream of new content for you to play, almost as a perpetual apology note. The latest takes you to the one place you haven’t been able to return you, the semi-hub world from Mass Effect 2, Omega. You get 2 brand new characters to plow through the Cerberus-occupied space station. Will it be worth it? Depends on your overall opinion of DLC. For example, I tend to not pay for any, so I may never know if it is worth it.
Because everyone’s favorite parts of Mass Effect were James Vega and “not being able to alter the outcome” we’re getting Mass Effect: Paragon Lost, which is pretty much all those two things. Here’s ten minutes which establish that the animation and voice acting is about as classy as the rest of the concept. Great.
Choose ninety percent of video games, this isn’t such a problem. An Assassin’s Creed movie kind of makes sense, since that game is just on rails anyway. Sure, you can choose how you kill a dude, but that dude is getting killed, and Ezio or whoever will tell you how you feel about that. But Mass Effect 3′s biggest strength is your ability to alter the story (complain all you want about Blue, Red and Green endings all you want, after three games my galaxy and your galaxy probably look noticeably different). So why go back to static, non interactive story telling? Just let it be.
And James Vega? I cared more about Jacob than goddamn James Vega. Who thought a movie about this useless character was a good idea? Literally anyone else would be preferable. Ashley “I Would Let a Nuke Blow Her Up Even If I Didn’t Have to Choose” Williams would be a better choice. I guess you pay the big bucks for Freddie Prinze Jr, you gotta use him in everything. Assuming that he still gets big bucks, which, after seeing that written out looks ridiculous.
And why do the Krogans have pointy chins? When have they ever had pointy chins? Why would you do that?
Behold this sexy but prohibitively expensive Sovereign replica. Standing 18.5 inches tall and costing a ridiculous 350 bucks, it’s both wonderful and impossible. Even worse, it’s limited to only 1000 pieces, so even at that ridiculous price it will almost certainly sell out on us, so barring a sudden lottery win the near future, you and I are probably never going to see this guy. Sad.
Also, for those few people who are really on the edge of laying down 350 bucks on a very pretty but useless toy, well, there’s also going to be some unnamed multiplayer bonuses for Mass Effect 3. I have no idea what they are, but they better be awesome. “Press select and all the reapers die!” And everyone else would be, like, “Oh, man, this dude’s got that Reaper figurine bonus pack! He’s the man!” Or something.
It appears I’m not the only one that would’ve liked the last hour of Mass Effect 3 to include a massively controlled battle as your collected forces take on the Reapers. Someone or a group of people have started working on a mod for Mass Effect that will allow us all to fulfill or long lost dreams. The trailer doesn’t give much of an indication of how it will play or even if the programming is underway, but there are some nice screens at the Mass Effect Dawn of the Reapers official website. This might be more massive than the Total War Hyrule mod, but won’t be as adorable.
Editor’s Note: Okay, this is a Sins of a Solar Empire mod. No one’s turning a third person shooter into a space RTS. It would be easier to program a while new game.
We’ve got six of the loyalty missions from Mass Effect 2 reimagined as movie posters. Legion’s is my favorite, but they’re all great. And you may notice that Jacob’s mission is not shown. This is a good decision, because everyone hates Jacob. What a fantastic waste of a character. On the flip side, the lack of a Mordin poster is blasphemous, but I guess his loyalty mission was kind of creepy and weird. Still, if there’s one poster I wish we had here, it would have been his. Less so with angry DLC guy or… Asari woman? Samara? Samara. Don’t care about her, or her stupid sex murder daughter.
Greg Zeschuk and Ray Muzyka, founders of Bioware, are stepping down, almost exactly five years after EA bought the company, which is… suspicious. I’m sure they’re just both tired of making games at the exact same time, and not fulfilling some contract that they signed when the company was purchased ensuring they would both stay on fire five years. Total coincidence. Muzyka will be entering the amazingly vague field of “entrepreneurship” for… stuff. He wasn’t entirely clear on what he would be entrepreneuring, but you know something’s getting all sorts of entrepreneured. Meanwhile, Zeschuk is spending his retirement doing something more logical, drinking beer. Specifically he’ll be drinking beer to discuss it for a web series about craft beers. That’s cool, but you know what would be cooler? Just enjoying the beer. You created Bioware, man. You can just coast. Just drink the beer and don’t work. That seems like the way to go.
But don’t worry about Bioware. They’ve got plenty of irons in the fire. There’s that new Dragon Age we heard about yesterday, some sort of new something that hasn’t been announced yet, and a new Mass Effect. Yes, Mass Effect. Bioware isn’t letting the retirement of their founders or the fact that Mass Effect is, you know, finished get in the way of giving you more damn Mass Effect. Awesome.
It’s coming out on Tuesday, but its never too late to put out a trailer, even if it is DLC for a game that came out months ago, which must mean people are still playing for some reason. I mean, if you paid $60 you’d want your money’s worth, right? Well, time to see if your copy of Mass Effect 3 isn’t corrupted yet. See if they are making your experience better or worse with this. My vote is worse, except for underwater mech fighting, that’s always better. I just hate Banshees.