I’d like the Wii U to succeed as much as the next guy, maybe more so, but these commercials Nintendo are excruciating. I assume these were made in a market research lab where they are trying to reach the bottom tier of consumer zombies in an attempt to convince them that this is not just a black Wii. Perhaps they should have named it different or made the U not look like it is hiding. I don’t think I’ve seen such masked acting since the Prism TV commercials. They are totally actors. Shut up, kid, go back to doing background work.
Tag Archive for Nintendo
Luigi’s Got Some Messed Up Dreams
I mean, I’ve had some seriously bad dreams. But they’ve never eaten anyone. My brother’s never had to jump inside them to save a princess. Never have I turned into a million of myself, and been rolled up into a giant ball composed of nothing but mes. That’s some messed up stuff. Freud would have a field day.
Category: Video Games |
Tags: Mario and Luigi, Mario and Luigi: Dream Team, Nintendo, Trailers, Video Games
New Link to the Past Game Is Indeed a Sequel, Because Link is a Terrible Wisher
Nintendo went ahead and confirmed that “Yeah, it’s pretty much a sequel” even though they’re a little hesitant to actually use that word, since it’s A Link to the Past and people’s hopes are probably already set impossibly high. But it takes place after Link to the Past, it’s not an alternate world that pretty much looks the same, it’s a sequel. And from a series that tends to ignore anything like continuity, rebooting itself with wild abandon, that’s kind of special in itself.
But still, why do we need a sequel? The Triforce grants you your heart’s desire. Ganon touched it, and his heart was filled with darkness, so the world turned dark. And then Link collected all the things, fought all the guys, and eventually killed Ganon with a silver arrow. Then he touched the Triforce and… the world went back to where it was before. Apparently Link’s heart is filled with Neutral. Not dark, but not super light. Just, you know, kinda standard. He couldn’t improve anything? At all? At least wish away the Triforce. I dunno about you, but I’ll not super excited about living “An asshole touching a couple of triangles” away from living in hell. Where even the weakest dude is doing, like, three hearts of damage just from touching you. And now the world’s in danger again because Link has no sort of imagination when given access to the most powerful force in the world
New Super Luigi U Gets Rid of Mario
I’m not sure how to react to this, I know no one really knew about this beforehand, and I’m not sure who outside of Luigi fans might want this. Nintendo is apparently remaking New Super Mario Bros U that remasters all the levels and makes it so it stars only Luigi. A lot of the fun of the first one was playing with friends, but if you are up for a solo romp again, you check this out when it happens. I was the older child, so I got Mario a lot, I’m not sure this appeals to me.
A Second Ghostbusters and Mario Mashup
Even better than the first Mario Ghostbusters mashup, this nearly beat for beat animation really is what mashup parodies should look like. If you are making one and it’s not as good as this one, you should probably stop and reexamine yourself and your plan. Everyone has to do better now, right Greg?
Category: Movies, TV, Video Games |
Tags: Ghostbusters, Mario, Mashup, Movies, Nintendo, Parody, TV, Video Games
They Told Link He Could Be Anything, So He Decided to Be a Painting
New Zelda game coming. Specifically a sort of sequel to Link to the Past coming to the 3DS. Using the classic Link to the Past gameplay, but with the 3D capabilities making all those multi-leveled dungeons less aggravating. Now when that annoying bug thing knocks you off the platform, and you fall to a level below, there will probably be a cool bouncy block that will get you back up there, instead of having to walk all the way around, over and over. Nice.
The other new gameplay element, of turning into a 2D painting that can walk around on the walls, is a little less exciting. I mean, yeah, I’m sure it’ll end up working out and being used for new and interesting gameplay. Because it’s Zelda, and they pretty much always manage to pull this sort of stuff off (outside of Skyward Sword) but dang, does it look dumb.
Category: Video Games |
Tags: Legend of Zelda, Nintendo, Trailers, Video Games, Zelda, Zelda: Link to the Past
Nintendo Power Glove Oven Mitt is So Bad
Not bad as in bad, bad as in good. I feel if you are on this site you get The Wizard reference. I really want the oven mitt so that I can steer my stove across the desert. That’s the same Wizard reference and ridiculous misuse of the Power Glove. I looked on eBay and an actual Power Glove is more expensive than I was expecting, so I can settle for this $15 oven mitt.
You can buy this on Fangamer.
Nintendo Wii U Has Proof of Faster Load Times
One of the major complaints about the new system is the slow load times. The only time I really noticed is when I am rapidly going through menus trying to find something like downloads, or when I wanted to check out ALL of the new features. From this video, it appears to cut it down by 30 seconds, which is a huge difference nowadays. It comes next month with the new update. Meanwhile, I’ve been playing Monster Hunter everyday on it. I think I’m addicted. I’d review it but I’m only a third of the way done and I’ve been playing for 30 hours. Lots of work to do…
Animal Crossing: New Leaf Trailer – Ah, Those Classic Fishing Puns
There have been a number of changes to Animal Crossing over the years, but one thing will never change. And that’s the stupid shit you say when you catch a fish. That will last forever. You will never be able to catch a fish without making some sort of pun related to the name. Wonderful.
I dunno. I mean, the game looks fine, and it seems to have all your favorite Animal Crossing bits. But I can’t be too excited. The whole joy of the original was sharing it with friends. You’d log in and Holy Shit, There a T-Rex in the Museum! You’d go three weeks never seeing a fishing rod in Tom Nook’s shop, only to visit you friend’s house and see that he has, like, fifteen fishing rods, because he’s been buying them out from under you every day. You don’t get that in the handheld version. You can visit other people’s towns, but it’s not the same as living in the same town, and racing to get the best house and everything. That’s all lost in this game. And the option to become Mayor doesn’t really make up for it.
Category: Video Games |
Tags: Animal Crossing, Animal Crossing New Leaf, Nintendo, Trailers, Video Games
Nintendo Will Provide All Your 3DS Games
So you’ve got that 3DS. And it’s not doing much for you. Sure, you’ve got Fire Emblem to entertain you, but when’s the last time you turned it on before then? Probably been a while, right? And that’s perfectly understandable, there just aren’t a lot of games available for the system. Nintendo has a few decent games, but the third party support is, at best, terrible.
So, what’s the solution? Is Nintendo going to entice new developers to the system? No, of course not. Instead, they’ve apparently decided to make up for the lack of the games by just making them all themselves. Mario and Luigi: Dream Team, New Donkey Kong Country Returns 3D, Pokemon Mystery Dungeon, Mario Golf. Don’t worry about the fact that no one else is making games for the thing, Nintendo’s got you covered.
Unless, you know, you want something starring a character that doesn’t routinely join Mario for Kart racing. Then you might be in trouble.
Oh, and Donkey Kong Country Returns? That was a game built from beginning to end around the co-op. Why would you port it to a system designed for one player? That’s crazy talk.