Someone has gone through the trouble of cutting all previous 22 Bond films and attempting to make a cohesive single movie. I assume that in addition to Bond changing actor that you accept that the Bond girl changes actresses as well. I haven’t sat down and watch the whole thing, but there are some interesting cuts here, and they tend to fall in line in order. The opening scene is the opening scene Dr. No and the closing scene is the closing scene from Quantum of Solace and the rest fit similarly. Lets see if Skyfall is better (it has to be better, this can’t make as much sense as one solid movie that made a crap ton of money this weekend).
Not that this game is doing well critically, you should be able to add to your game the Skyfall mission soon. Movie comes out today, so what better way to relieve it or get in the mood than by playing it out. Or you could just skip the whole game thing. Most of you will probably do that. I’m not sure how well it sold. Probably not as well as they would’ve liked. The movie will do well though, everyone is talking that up. To the cinemadome!
Another one of those viral videos that take just as much time and execution as it did creativity. Also, they really had to hope that people wanted Skyfall tickets. Look at these guys huff it up those escalators. All around, great effort in trying to recover from the 007 Legends debacle.
You got your Bond, you got your pretty lady, you got some gambling, you’ve got him introducing himself in that odd way. It’s pretty much all the James Bond you could fit on one screen. The only way it could be any more James Bond would be if it all happened inside an Aston Martin that he was driving while shooting people with a Walther PPK and someone makes a pun about the unique way he’s having sex. That would be more James Bond. But that’s just an unlikely combination. We’ll just have to stick with this scene for now.
Adele’s released the theme to Skyfall, titled Skyfall, because that’s what you do with James Bond movies, you give the theme the same title as the movie. Even Madonna knew that. I don’t what this “You Know My Name” nonsense was. I mean, I loved the song, Chris Cornell is awesome, but it should have been called Casino Royale. Adele gets it though. We’re bringing it back. I don’t love the song, though. I mean, it’s okay, it’s James Bond-y. I can certainly imagine it playing over a video of writhing naked female shapes probably made out of clouds, cause the movie’s called “Skyfall” and that would just fit. But I don’t see myself listening to it over and over like “You Know My Name” or “A View to a Kill” or “Live and Let Die” or even most of Adele’s non-James Bond themed music.
Though, to be fair, almost this entire song is not about her ex-boyfriend. So, that’s gotta be hard to write about for her. “How does the falling sky relate to my desire to resume a relationship with that guy that broke my heart?” Well, it doesn’t Adele. It just doesn’t.
Skyfall will be a movie, and it will star several people. That much is clear. We got Bond, whoever the lady is that Bond will attempt to sleep with, the bad guy from No Country for Old Men, and Moneypenny. Interesting choices. Especially Moneypenny. What’s she doing there? I get the other three, but putting Moneypenny on there without Q or M seems lame. Either one of them seem just as important as Moneypenny. Just a slap in the face. Especially for Q. I mean, M, we’ve seen her a lot. Over the last fifteen years it’s been the same M. And she hasn’t really changed. Like a female Patrick Stewart, Judi Dench reached a certain age and decided that she’s done quite enough aging for her lifetime. But Q? We’ve never seen this Q. He should be given a spot on here. Only fair.
I know when you get up to twenty two movies it’s difficult to keep that shit straight. But this is an easy one. Just read the titles. “Dr. No. No problem there. Octopussy, hehe, it’s still funny. You Only Live Twice, oh, shit, we did pretend to kill him already! The whole plot of the movie!” Otherwise, it’s mostly The Dark Knight Rises. I mean, there’s a lot. James Bond comes back after going into hiding when presented with a threat that the “normal” agents can’t handle. He’s out of shape, and not prepared to fight at his best. And he’s got a lady love that keeps telling him he should be afraid of his enemy, who is the more dangerous and prepared version of him, trained by the same people. It’s fucking Dark Knight Rises exactly! I know you probably couldn’t have known about the plot of The Dark Knight Rises, but shit, this is a bad time to release that movie. That kinda sucks for you.
Oh, and more sexy shaving. I don’t know what the Bond obsession with sexy shaving is, but it’ll be in there. Probably with done expensive ass razor that we will see the logo of more often than we see the razor. Ba-dum ba-DUMM!
We’d heard that Skyfall would be giving us a new Q, but this is our first look at the character. Looks like a generic British hipster. Like, I want to get a British hipster, but I don’t want to pay name brand prices. You get this guy. He’s got everything you’d expect out of a british hipster, but he still doesn’t feel right. Should’ve paid those extra few bucks and gotten yourself a Doctor Who instead. Just imagine David Tennant or Matt Smith standing there. It’s not that hard, that’s clearly what they were going for with the character. Just think about it for a second. Isn’t that better? Too bad that’s not what we got. Now you’re stuck with this dude’s annoying floppy hair and glasses that probably don’t even do anything and his Mister Rogers looking sweater. Ugh. He better have some awesome ass gadgets for Bond.
I think we can all agree that there’s one iconic thing about James Bond that everyone recognizes. What? The theme? No, we’re not going to put the James Bond theme in a James Bond trailer. No, it’s all about the scene where he shaves his face. Preferably using an easily recognizable brand of razor that they can make someone pay millions of dollars to show in the movie. So when I sit in the theater I can think, “James Bond uses that razor, and he sleeps with all kinds of ladies. Clearly I must have it!”
Also, I guess there’s, like, shooting and stuff. I mean, if that’s what you’re into. I’m going to go over the trailer with a fine tooth comb, looking for more scenes where he removes hair from his face.