Star Trek Into Darkness
I say “New Releases” but it’s really just Star Trek, because, honestly, would you go up against Star Trek? No, that would be crazy talk. So it’s Star Trek. Go see it.
Tag Archive for Star Trek
Star Trek Into Darkness
This thing got popular very quickly. When you have both actors who played Spock occupying the same point in time, people take notice. What’s even better is how amazing Leonard Nimoy is. Why hasn’t he done comedy before? Seems like you could’ve gotten work. That Bruno Mars music video would prove that, too. Doesn’t make me want to buy an Audi, but I sure can appreciate their marketing team for coming up with this one. Now we wait and see how they get an Audi product placement into Star Trek.
There isn’t a whole lot of gameplay here from Star Trek Catan, but if you don’t know about Catan at this point then this video won’t help you. There is mostly Star Trek banter. Definitely makes me want a copy though. I’d rather trade on planets than random fields.
You might not have heard, but Star Trek Into Darkness comes out in a couple of weeks. Assuming you missed the, like, thirty-something trailers or what has to be more than a hundred posters that have been released before now, well, here’s another one. In this one the Enterprise is being chased by a much larger Enterprise, in what I can only assume is a hint about a bit in the movie where they appear enter an alternate universe where everything is giant, like that one Super Mario 64 level. It’s only later, after traveling through a time dilation point with a fluctuating quantum restructuring field that they realize the giant version of Enterprise is actually them from the future, and they have to work with their past selves to return to normal size before their weakened atomic bindings tear apart, causing a massive nuclear explosion that destroys the entire sector.
Of maybe it’s just another ship. A really big ship. That’s possible, I guess.
Silver Linings Playbook
We all like to make fun of the Academy Awards because they’re pointless and outdated and almost always wrong. But when they nominate a romantic comedy for Best Picture? Well, that deserves a look see, I think.
Star Trek: The Next Generation Season Three
Finally making the first really good season of Next Generation available in HD. Or at least available in SD upconverted to HD and that’s probably worth another sixty bucks, right? Even though you could watch it on Netflix for eight bucks a month.
Mark Wahlberg and Russell Crowe try really hard to remind you that they occasionally star in fantastic movies, even though they’re Mark Wahlberg and Russell Crowe. Then they try even harder to keep you from noticing this is not one of those times.
The Guilt Trip
Despite all that wishing otherwise, this movie still somehow exists.
Star Trek: The Motion Picture
Star Trek III: The Search for Spock
Star Trek V: The Final Frontier
Star Trek VII: Generations
Star Trek IX: Insurrection
Star Trek X: Nemesis
All your crappier Star Trek movies, finally available on Blu-Ray outside of a Box Set. Which, I don’t know who this is for? If you wanted the whole Star Trek series, you already bought the box sets. This is for the person who bought all four of the good movies, but also really wants The Final Frontier, but not Search for Spock? It’s a very specific thing.
This is kind of a freaky cover of Kiss Me by Sixpence None the Richer, but I like it. The intensity of proper pronunciation and elocution really brings home that Klingon love is very different than human love. I forgot where they are supposed to bite each other.
This group also does a whole slew of Improvised Star Trek, I think I’ve posted about them before. The best way to make Star Trek funnier is by making it up on the spot. That’s how this video came about.
Vulcans are trying to build a new world, and the Gorn are trying to steal their shit to make weapons? We’re just going to ignore the whole “Gorn’s aren’t such bad guys, they’re just weird looking” lesson completely, then? Alright. That’s a bummer. Still, who didn’t like shooting lizard people? Here’s your chance. Stupid lizard people. Stop looking so different from us!
“We know you think Abrams’s Star Trek is a betrayal to the fans of the original series (whatever that means) but look. We get you. In less than a minute we use the phrase ‘Prime Directive’ and ‘The Needs of the Many Outweigh the Needs of the One.’ We couldn’t be much more Star Trek-y up in here.”
So, yeah. Spock’s trapped in a volcano, because apparently the only way to stop it from erupting is to get right up in there. And I assume whatever exit strategy they had has failed, because I doubt Starfleet included the words “Sacrifice Spock” in their mission briefing. But the end result is the same, and we can’t save Spock because Prime Directive and The Needs of the Many and Risk Is Our Business and whatever other Star Trek catch phrase will convince you that they still appreciate their fans.
Course, none of it makes a lick of sense. The Prime Directive applies just as much to not stopping volcanoes erupting as it does to not letting people see your spaceship. You’re already interfering in the natural evolution of this planet, how much worse is giving them a glimpse of your spaceship? Probably not a lot.
It just wouldn’t be a Star Trek movie without blowing up the Enterprise, would it? If the actual show destroyed the Enterprise with the regularity that the movies do, ninety percent of the episodes would be about the brave space welders at the Utopia Planitia Fleet Yards. “Again? We just fixed this stupid thing! Maybe we don’t need to go into space.”
Anyway, more questions. John “Seriously, There’s No Way His Name’s Really John Harrison, Is There?” Harrison seems like he’s just a terrorist mad at Starfleet for reasons. But now he’s suddenly got his hands on otherworldy spaceships that can blow up the flagship of Starfleet. So, then, he’s a traitor? He’s working for evil aliens? Why don’t the aliens just show up and blow us up? I mean, clearly, they’ve got giant spaceships. And we can’t have a lot of ships left, after the whole Naruda thing. Neruda? Narada! Yeah, that. I don’t get it. Maybe Harrison just stole the awesome ship? Maybe that’s why he had to create a giant trap just to kill Kirk? I dunno.
When do we get to real Star Trek? Kirk goes to an alien planet, where the population is at war over the decision to legalize a form of emotional bonding (totally not marriage. Emotional bonding) that some of the population considers unnatural. That’s the sort of subtle metaphor that I’m looking for in my Star Trek. Less explosions, more exploring modern societal woes through the lens of a futuristic utopia. Make it happen, Abrams.
“You know what would really sell the new Star Trek movie?”
“Benedict Cumberbatch’s character walking away from rubble?”
“Benedict Cumberbatch’s character walking away from rubble!”
“That’s why I made that my new poster.”
“But I already made a poster like that!”
“Well, I’m not changing my poster!”
“Well, then, okay. We’ll just have to hope there’s enough ‘Cumberbatch walking away from rubble love in the world to justify two of them.”
“I guess we will.”