Shh. Don’t talk. Just behold the wonder that is Arrested Godfather. We all needed this. Just enjoy.
Tag Archive for TV
Beer of Thrones Makes You Gamey
This seems dangerous. It’s a beer that makes you act out scenarios from Game of Thrones, likely more TV than the book. A bit extreme. I don’t think I’ll partake of this beer, just in case I’m the one beheaded or spanked.
Hard to Tell if Cumberbatch Showering Is Actual Cut Scene From Star Trek
So I saw Star Trek Into Darkness. I don’t know when Benedict Cumberbatch’s character would have had the opportunity to take a shower. This makes me think it’s not really a scene cut from the movie. But it is Benedict Cumberbatch taking a shower, so… what’s my point?
DVD Day – May 21, 2013
The Last Stand
Schwarzenegger is old now. Surely that’s enough premise to carry us through the whole movie.
True Blood: The Complete Fifth Season
I don’t even know. Something about vampires, probably.
My Neighbor Totoro
Everyone loves the Totoro. I don’t get it. It’s okay, I guess, but I’ll never understand why we obsess over it so.
Side Effects
For that person that thinks “Taut psychological thriller” and “Channing Tatum” somehow belong together.
Beautiful Creatures
Because we’ve already burned through vampires and werewolves and teenagers forced to fight in Battle Royale type contests. Witches are the next logical step.
Parker
Jason Statham robs banks. Totally out of character for him.
LEGO Batman: The Movie – DC Super Heroes Unite
Basically just all the cutscenes from LEGO Batman 2. I don’t know why you would need this.
Stand Up Guys
Old gangsters have fun together before the eventual murdering starts. Why precisely you would wait until a guy got out of jail to murder him, I’m not sure. For that matter, I’m not sure why you would murder a guy at all, since he clearly went to jail rather than rat on you? I’m sure it makes sense in context.
But What About Star Wars: Detours?
Star Wars: Clone Wars is ending. And we need a new show to replace it, because a world without creepy CG versions of Star Wars characters is a world we just don’t want to live in, I guess. So, Star Wars: Rebels. Basically Clone Wars, but set in the period between Revenge of the Sith and A New Hope. Hopefully that means less goofy robots and more badass Stormtroopers, but time will tell on that one. I’d like to be excited, but I’ve seen too many episodes of Clone Wars to be anything but mildly interested. And even that mild interest is based mostly in the addition of Greg Weisman as an executive producer. Maybe he’ll be able to tell a story in the Star Wars universe that doesn’t bore me to tears. Hopefully.
Meanwhile, Star Wars Detours seems to be completely dead. Sad. I mean, I’m sure I’m the only person who’s sad, but still, sad.
Star Wars Filibuster by Patton Oswalt Has Been Animated
Remember that Star Wars filibuster? Well now you get some visuals in case it was confusing in any way (only a little). We finally have concept art for the weird Chewbacca spider cyborg thingy.
Zombieland Cancelled Because Of All the Hate, Lots of Hate
Sure, the Zombieland TV pilot was not the same as the movie. We can all agree on that. Sure, the writing might have been similar, but based solely on the trailer, the whole thing felt hokey and unpolished for a long running stint anywhere, let alone on Amazon. So it wasn’t picked up. Many people are thankful. Well, the creator of Zombieland had this to say about the cancellation:
I’ll never understand the vehement hate the pilot received from die-hard Zombieland fans. You guys successfully hated it out of existence.
Hey, guess it finally worked. You did it, internet. You finally got them to not do something because you thought it was dumb. Imagine if we all worked together, we could really change the world, like finally ending vlogging. Ugh. I don’t care about your life.
Hulk Cartoon Somehow Also Reality Show
I’m not sure what Fred Tatasciore is talking about when he says that the new Hulk cartoon is going to be like a reality show. Is he being serious? Did the producer tell him to say that? Sounds fishy and totally not something I would want to watch. Why would all the Hulks be living together like that. Even Ultimate Spider-Man’s premise is flimsy for all those heroes to live in the same house. This one’s going to be even flimsier. It better be a military base and better not be 4th wall references.
Capcom Inserts Tobias in Awkward Places
Following Tobias Fünke’s request to “Insert Me Anywhere” Capcom has gone ahead and inserted him in a number of awkward places. He’s been inserted in places that some folks might find downright painful. He’s been inserted- Actually, you know what? You get it. It’s an anal sex joke. Moving on.
I Feel Like You’re Not Even Trying, Under the Dome
Everything about this just seems off. I mean, I don’t mind a few little changes to an adaptation if it helps the story move along. I don’t even mind major changes to an adaptation if it makes the movie better. Hell, I know it makes me pretty much a heretic, but Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince is one of my favorite Harry Potter movies, and that movie kind of knows what the plot of the book is, and not a lot else. So I’m willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. But what’s going on here? These changes serve no purpose. How is Phil Bushey being an angry radio DJ going to help? That’s just a needless complication. Does he still cook meth? That’s all he really needs to do. Why can we see the damn dome? I realize that it’s TV, and it’s a visual medium, but the point is that the dome was invisible. Just a hazy force field is far less terrifying. And why do people keep running into it when you can see it? And why is Duke Perkins in so many scenes in this trailer? I mean, spoiler alert if you haven’t read the books, but he kind of leaves us fairly early on. And that’s kind of important. He can’t be around, or else everything falling apart makes less sense.
Maybe this all works. Maybe in context all these changes will work together, and it will tell a story just as good as the story that they’re not telling from the book. And if so, great, I’ll be happy. I hope that’s what happens. I’d love to be wrong about all of this.
But I doubt it.

