You’re gonna hit me with a Baz Luhrmann/Leonardo DiCaprio movie, and NOT feature Claire Danes? Not cool. She just sat by the phone for weeks, convinced that sooner or later she was gonna get a call to star in this movie. But no, instead it’s Carey Mulligan, who… Hey! She was Sally Sparrow! From Doctor Who! I was going to point out she was from Drive, but this is much cooler. Sally Sparrow!
So, Spider-Man moves into town, and inexplicably starts hanging out with a bunch of unfortunately rich folks, who all turn out to be incredible assholes. Some other stuff happens, but it’s all just terrible people doing terrible things, so who gives a shit? Awful people are hurting other awful people? I don’t care. Give me a call when they’re hurting someone I give a shit about. Oh, and there’s a professional golfer who’s also a slut? Or a lesbian? I don’t remember. It’s been a while since ninth grade. But that stuck with me, because I remember being surprised that women were allowed to be professional golfers in the twenties. Just bobbing their hair and sitting on flag poles and golfing professionally. The twenties!