Weird Squeenix DS Games Get a Release Date

July is gonna be a good month if you own a 3DS and love Squeenix to the point you’ll buy any damn thing they release. On July 3rd, we’re gonna get Theatrhythm (which looks like “theet-rhythm”, I’ve been pronouncing “theta-rhythm”, but is apparently actually pronounced “Theater Rhythm”? There’s not enough R’s, Squeenix!) so you’ll be able to enjoy the Chocobo song like never before… by repeatedly tapping dots on a screen. I sucked at Elite Beat Agents, so there’s no good reason for me to buy this. But it’s got Final Fantasy shit in it, so I will. I’m dumb.

Then, four weeks later, on July 31st, we’re getting Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Distance. Now, I’ve universally hated all the Kingdom Hearts games that weren’t the two main titles on PS2. Whether that weird gameboy version, or that 358/2 thing, or the PSP version, I hate them all. They’re all about chracters I don’t care about, and they’re always telling a story I don’t care about. “How did Roxas get captured before Kingdom Hearts 2? I don’t give a shit, he did, Riku sacrificed himself in some way to accomplish it, I don’t need the details.” But this one is different. Hopefully. Sora’s in it! It takes place AFTER Kingdom Hearts 2 (I guess technically that stupid Rd:Coded took place after Kingdom Hearts and starred Sora, but since it was all memories it was pretty much the game I’d already played). And it’s crossing over with The World Ends With You. That’s awesome. That game needs more love. So hell yeah I’ll buy that.